How She Thinks

Living WITH Fear, Not Under It.

on 7.26.18 I realized…

I realized, I have been living with fear. Not under fear. But with it.
Under fear, means there’s an oppression pushing you down. With fear, means that you’re trying to push through to the belief side. You keep trying and you keep trying, and you get there a little bit. But there’s still that niggling fear. That niggling question.
Creflo Dollar is doing a series on living under the Covenant. He explains in part 6, what the old Covenant is and what the new covenant is. I just watched it like 3 days ago and today is July 26th, 2018. I realized, that I’m under the New Covenant AND what it means!
When people have explained things about the Covenant, they always attached this fear on to it, saying ‘oh those old laws are done away with, but, you’ve got all these other rules, and laws, that you have to do. You don’t just have to love, you have to give everything you own to somebody else if they want it.’ That’s how I heard it.
It’s not just filters I haven’t had, it’s balance. I have wanted for years and years and years, to have an RV and drive around the country and see the different parts of the country. I’ve been to Germany, Italy, France.
I want to see the United States, visit museums, see the Everglades, ( not the alligators) lol.
but I’ve been fearful. I’ve been living with fear, trying to battle through fear. 
I figured at the end of my life I would say well I couldn’t afford an RV, so I didn’t do it. But that was living with fear.
Under the New Covenant, because I have accepted what Jesus did on the cross, I am covered by the blood. The blood of Jesus, that he shed on the cross.
This blood is alive. It will always be alive! It’s what removes sin from our lives when we ask the Lord to forgive us. It’s powerful!
Because I am under the blood, all the things that Jesus went to the cross for, are mine. That blood takes away my sins, and it also takes away sicknesses, diseases, afflictions.
Most people say and teach, the blood takes away sins. I’ve never heard anyone teach the blood also heals us of sicknesses and diseases that afflict us.
And it DOES!
The blood. It’s the blood that Jesus shed. It’s because Jesus was the only faithful one. God made a covenant between him, and Jesus. Who is the Son of God, and who is the son of man. It is a great mystery, however it is a great truth!
God did not make this second Covenant, with man. The first Covenant, was perfect, and no one could keep it. And God made that Covenant between him and mankind. But the second Covenant, the one that is lasting and forever, the one he knew he was going to make, was between him, and his son, his faultless, sinless, son. The only faithful one. 
The blood never fails.
People sin. People fulfill the lusts of their flesh. 
People are disobedient. People are not perfect. The blood is perfect.
The blood never fails. People fail in their understanding. People fail in their thinking. People fail in their perceptions. People fail. The blood never fails. The blood never fails. If someone is not healed, it’s not because of Jesus.
The blood never fails. It is perfect. Perfectly healing. Perfectly delivering. Perfect in love, mercy, forgiveness.
The love of Jesus, is unfailing. It’s thru his blood.
I am excited now, to get rid of my stuff and get a van, and tour the United States of America. For a year, maybe two. The blood never fails. Since God is for me, who can be against me?
No weapon formed against me shall gain the upper hand or prosper.
Because I am under the blood, and the blood never fails.

Bridges Between Jesus and Us

When we are not with the Lord everyday in the morning, then a bridge a wall starts to be built up across the bridge that is built between us.
we have to get with the Lord in the morning, or whenever our day starts, because that is the start of our day.
What we put in our heads at the very beginning of our day, determines what will guide us the during the day. Especially in the finer points of the day. Like when we are angry, or someone cuts us off on the road.
We have to renew our minds in the word everyday. It washes our minds free of clutter. And renews our mind and our spirit with good things, which enables us to think more clearly, and to have a chance to act and react, and a godly way.
When we spend time with the Lord everyday a bridge is built between us and him.
This is essentially, the bridge of praise, worship, and prayer.
When we miss even one day, essentially what it does is it puts a rock in the entryway of that bridge. The more we miss, the higher the rocks are piled. Until sometimes, it becomes a wall.
That’s why, when we miss a day of being with the Lord, it seems harder to get back with him the day after, or the week after.
It’s because the bridge between us and him has been blocked with rocks and other debris of the world.
All we have to do, is praise him, spend time in worship, and in prayer. Talk with him. Listen to him. He definitely listens to us!
The bridge between us and Jesus is also the bridge over which our prayers travel and over which answers are released. 
Every time someone prays, no matter who it’s for or what it’s about – as long as it’s to God – a spiritual bridge is built. 
To strengthen the bridge, one must accept or have accepted Jesus as their Savior. Then pray, read the Bible, praise him. 
This strengthens the bridge. Keeps the bridge open.

Parallel Universes

The Lord and I are having ‘sessions’ these days. This is where he and one of my no-longer-wounded-usually parts, talk and he teaches her. Most of the time they don’t know Jesus. It’s been a wild ride Mr. Toad. In these, Jesus is my Daddy. He’s not ‘God’, he’s my Daddy. He is giving me a story, called The Cork Road and he’s giving me lessons in and outside the story. Since no one taught me anything growing up, he is teaching all of us now. One age at a time. 

Yesterday morning, 7/11/18, he was telling…let me back up a bit. I am now at 8 yrs old. We’ve been thru the other ages. Eight has proven to be extremely traumatic. I have also been at this age longer than the other ages. Eight is when everything culminated. Abandonment, neglect, all those things. I won’t bore you.

In these times with Daddy, I ask questions. There is a backstory to all this, of course, but I’m not going there now. Yesterday I was asking what worship is and if it’s better to pray out loud or in my head? 

He said, “You can pray in your head. Anytime. But if you’re talking to the devil, since you have a voice, you need to use it out loud. The only way you can speak to him, is out loud. If you have a voice. If you don’t have a voice, if you are deaf, then you sign it.

Claiming my promises? Out loud. If you have a voice, it is best to do it out loud for the promises and binding and such. If you are praying in tongues? You can do that in your head or out loud, you can pray in your head or out loud.”

“THANK YOU JESUS!”

“My pleasure my girl.”

The next bit was on worship. It’s long and I won’t put it here. It’s really interesting though. He had me look up definitions and tell him what they said and what I thought they meant. So at the end of it, I asked, ‘so Daddy, what is worship?’

“What do you think it is baby girl?”

“Well Daddy, from what I read, I think worship is studying your word like we just said. And I think it’s loving on you. Telling you how wonderful you are and great you are and all that. And also being obedient. And being aware of you. That’s really hard, to be aware of you all the time. Do you know that?”

“Yes baby, I do.”

“I think worship is being mindful of you in my life and acting on that instead of..whoa! Wait a minute God! If that’s the case, then if I say something from your word, or positive, but really, from your word – when something bad happens? Then that means I’m worshiping you, right?”

“Yes baby. You have a very good mind Janine. You are a very intelligent young lady.”

[he calls me Janine when he’s talking to ALL of us] {{I get this might be weird for you, but just flow with it}}.

He called me a young lady! I’m smiling all over the place and I sat up straight.

So that was yesterday morning. Last nite/wee hours of this morning, I have a huge recollection of something. I realize that what I thought before, was me thinking thru my feelings. This remembrance gave me clarity thru my mind, not my feelings. There is a difference. With feelings, you only think it was that way, or you feel it was that way, when it may not have been. It’s kinda like perception – thru feelings. I’m pretty sure you, the reader ‘gets it’.

But this memory recollection, took me down the path of remembering a WHOLE LOT more and realizing, my memories from my feelings WERE accurate and I saw just how accurate they were.

I was sobbing. Absolutely sobbing. I was floored that not only were my feelings accurate, there was so much more and it was all accurate. I KNEW I needed to respond well from the lesson that morning.

Because I was in the middle of all these feelings, there are only so many scriptures that will come up in my memory. I was also eight years old during some of this, as well as the current age.

I gave the only scriptures I knew. I am the apple of his eye. He loves me with an unfailing love. I am the apple of his eye.

I KNEW from what he told me earlier that I needed to speak positive things from his word. Not just ‘positive things’, but from his word. And I knew I had to forgive. I did. I forgave everything of this person [my mother] that I could think of.

Today I see a deeper truth. It’s like we are all in parallel universes. If we response from our flesh, our anger, that is the devil side. If we respond with the word of God, that is the God side. IF we respond to ANYTHING in our flesh, we will walk in that universe and reap the results. If we respond from the God side, we will walk in that universe and things will be different.

I was on the precipice last nite. However as an 8 yr old, I’m more inclined to do things how Daddy says, because I’m not all tainted with the flesh yet. I spoke the word in both ages. I forgave and today…toDAY, I am slightly in shock. But if I had responded thru the flesh, I would be numb.

We all walk in parallel universes. We can choose which outcome we want in our lives. 

Demons On The Doorstep

While in prayer today, 4-5-18, the Lord said when we judge someone else, the demons of that person are allowed to stay on our doorstep. They are allowed to attach to us, because we are agreeing with evil.

We are not to judge another. We are to forgive everyone. Even if they do something really bad or mean against us, we are to forgive them. To judge another person is to throw God off His throne and tell Him we can do it.

That’s like saying, I can fly this jet and take over the controls, even though we’ve never had pilot lessons. So you’re up in the air and then what?

As a human, it is our right to judge. But as a child of God, it is not our right to judge. We are to give our rights, all of them, to God. Let Him do what He needs to do, what He wants to do. Yes! It’s hard! NO! It’s not impossible!

We cannot leave bad reviews on a website about person or business, unless we have been released by God to do so. When we do that, we are then putting that person in prison, through judgement. Other people, Christian or not, read the bad reviews, then they will judge that person or business, from that review. Then it continues to exacerbate the problem and it becomes a huge problem to unravel. 

This is exactly how Satan runs this world. He gets at the underlying problems. Once there is this huge ball of judgement, it affects everyone involved. Demons are allowed on our doorstep, they are allowed to be in our homes and attach to us because we have judged another.

I repented for a lot of stuff. I took reviews off Yelp. I do not want to be agreeing with the devil in anything. I release it all to God, HE can take care of it.  

Do You Think It’s Gone?

Do you think it’s gone? Do you think because you are this age, that your childhood is gone and you can’t get it back? Do you say to yourself or God, “I can’t re-do it! I can’t get it back. what do I do”? Do you think you are lost or too far gone in any way? PLEASE stop thinking that way. Try to stop thinking that way. Try for yourself. If you follow Jesus , there is nothing further from the truth.

I know this because for the past 3-4 months, Jesus/God has been teaching my little ones. I better explain that. We are all made up of the ages we grew up through. And, if something bad happened to you at a certain age, that will create what is called a “wounded part”.  This wounded part has it’s own personality, it’s own anger, it’s own fear, it’s own attitude. Usually these wounded parts are trying to help the core person in some way, in ways they think are appropriate. But rarely is it appropriate. 

Some people call them alternate personalities, but that’s a scary term to my little ones. Besides they weren’t ‘alternate personalities’ because they never shut down reality for my core person and acted on their own. So, they are wounded parts. They are wounded little ones. [Others call them fragments, but mine are all people and they are real, they are not a fragment. That’s me, you can call them whatever your heart wants too]. I had a lot of wounded parts. I went through inner healing and deliverance for 9 or 10 yrs. I’ll probably write a book on it one day. 😉 

Some of my back story sucks. Let me say this and I think you’ll understand. My parents had one child, my sister. My mother wanted another child. It was me. But all she wanted was another child. She didn’t want to raise it. So she didn’t. My dad taught me some stuff, different times when she would send me away to live with him or my grandmother. Needless to say – I didn’t learn the things kids with one or two caring adults in their lives learn. I didn’t really ‘raise myself’, cause I didn’t know anything. This has made my life exceedingly difficult to get through. I managed in some areas, others have been sorely lacking. 

I read Ana Werner’s book, “The Seer’s Path. In it she has us do an exercise to start seeing in the spirit. I’m already a seer, so that wasn’t hard. However, when I started this, I met with Jesus and He told me ‘this is going to take a while, are you willing to sit with me and do this’? I said yes. LITTLE knowing what it would entail.

So what is Jesus doing?

He’s taking me through each age and healing and teaching. DON”T THINK something can’t be undone!! IT CAN BE. Thru Jesus. I am now at 7 years old. I just transferred to 7 from 6 last week, March, 23, 2018 to be exact. That’s also when I learned, as a 6-7 yr old, that God is real, He’s not a figment of my imagination. I do hear Him and He really, really loves me. I know He loves me because He’s listening to me. He’s answering my questions, He never once has told me to shut up, or stop talking or stop asking questions. That’s love. 

Always happy girl

He has taught me so many things already. Some of them He’s taught by words and some by, the only way to say it, is osmosis. He’s teaching me things underneath the words and lessons. I know this, because I am acting and speaking differently than before. As an adult.

I want to encourage you to never think your past is done and can’t be undone. It CAN be undone with and through Jesus. There are stories Jesus wants to write with others. You may be one. Those who have had a bad childhood, no matter whose fault it was, no matter the reasons why. It could have been just a short space of time or a long space of time. Since 99% of people come from a dysfunctional home, I would guess you had something rough in your life. Jesus wants to sit with you and He wants you to come to Him and take the time to listen and write your story. It will take time. He wants to be with me every day, to tell the story. This is besides prayer time. When I am in this stage, I actually regress to that age and sound like a kid. 

I will start posting installments of the story. Now mind you. I have this blog because God told me to put my personal journal online, that it will help others. So when I post the installments, some of them are just lessons, a part of the story. Yep, I’m gonna let you in on all the ‘stuff’. I will put it under the category of The Cork Road. Because that’s what Jesus calls the story, The Cork Road.

I promise you, if you take the time to sit and be still with the Lord, to envision yourself with Jesus at a table [what does the table look like? what do you see around you?], to talk with Him, to spend time with Him and I’m talking time, not 5 or 10 minutes, but 30 or more; He will give you a story. He will heal your little ones. It just takes one step and it has to start with you. 

There is POWER in Our Hands!

3-23-18 Wednesday, Praying Medic was speaking at Prepare the Way International. He spoke on a LOT of things, one of them was power and authority. So I’m looking up ‘how to release the power’. I found this on the power in our hands
 
I sure hope it blesses someone else as much as it has blessed and enlightened me. This explains SO MUCH to me. WHY I feel a tingling in my hands and WHY I feel heat sometimes and why sometimes I don’t feel heat, but others do.
WHY the enemy tried to take me out by falling face first on the concrete, and both my hands breaking.
 
It explains WHY I can feel pain sometimes in people’s bodies and WHY I can feel the frequencies in plants. man oh man oh man.

Bridge People prophecy

3-22-18 God has assigned and is assigning different people to be bridges between generations. These people have thought they don’t fit anywhere. They have felt stuck between two worlds. However! These people are precisely this way. There has not been a mistake. God does not make mistakes.

They are bridges for bringing people from where they are, to a new place. A broader place in the Lord. Forward, onward. Never stagnating. The Lord is stretching these ‘people bridges’. You may feel like plastic wrap, stretched to it’s max. You will not break. As the stretching takes place, you will hold there for a bit, then be stretched again.

The ‘bridge people’ are forerunners, prescients, passionate lovers of God and people. They are a people that God has taken from fearfulness to fearlessness, ever onward and ever being stretched. These ‘bridge people’ will usher in the new wave of the new way God wants to move in. God is wanting His children to come further, come deeper into Him. He is wanting His children to experience more of Him, further, deeper than ever before. This can only be accomplished through letting go of fears and going deeper into God, soaring with Him on the heights of new things.

Issiah 43:19 KJV

19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

DO NOT lose heart my children. Do not lose heart. I AM is with you. I AM will protect you. There is no place you can go, nothing you can do that will separate you from Me. I love you with an everlasting love. I want you to soar with Me. I want you to come to new heights, new depths in Me. You are my own, my very own. I never lose sight of you, you are engraved on the palms of My hands.

Overeating-Suicide-Self-Hatred

Why is eating when I’m not hungry, comforting?

It’s emotional. Get my emotions under control.

It harkens back to not having enough to eat, which was when I lived with my mother.

It also is due to the fear I had. Food brought me comfort BECAUSE I equated sweet things or a VERY FULL belly with comfort. BECAUSE I was able to do something. I could feed my self.

So take those two emotions are compounded, the result is a messed up emotionally human, who eats when she isn’t hungry, but to satisfy the trained part of her psyche that says ‘to eat means she won’t be hungry’, even though she’s not hungry now. It’s the only thing she can do to satisfy her self. So that mind set has to be released from thinking there is lack and that eating to satisfy IT is good, when actually, I am fighting myself. I’m allowing my mind to harm my body. [I sob at this realization]

In NO WAY is this the body’s fault. It’s all the mind.

THIS IS Satan’S WAY OF MESSING WITH US. HE GETS IN OUR MINDS FROM OUR PASTS AND THINGS THAT happened then and happen now. Because things continue to happen because of how we act, because of our pasts, which we act out, and we get bad reactions from others, which reinforces the rejection and self hatred that was embedded in our minds, in our pasts. THAT is what we need deliverance from. THAT is why people commit suicide. Because they can’t stand the self hatred and don’t know how to battle the thoughts. Whether Christians or not. 

My body has to deal with EVERYTHING I put in it. It can only fight so much, then it wears out from severe overuse and too much fighting. BUT, BUT! God made our bodies to HEAL themselves given the right actions and ingredients!

Our minds are the #1 battlefield.

[well this ought to be helpful to some, people and shrinks alike] 3p 3-10-18 talk about a journal entry! 

I Asked God What He Wanted-His Reply

3-9-18 

Stop praying for power and pray from power. Larry Sparks.

Father, what do You want to release in the earth at this time? Father what do you want?

G, are you ready?

Me, I think so. yes.

I want revival more than you do. However I want my body to come into agreement and love one another. I want prayer through love, not through personal wants. I want those Chinese children taken care of as well in Yunnan Province. Oh, how my heart aches for them. But who will go? Who will pray? Who will pray for those areas of the world that are still lost? Yes! Oh yes! There are still areas of people that are lost. My Word goes out mightily in many corners and ditches of the world, but not all have heard. VietNam, Cambodia, prayer my girl, prayer will release my Spirit in all areas where He has not gone. Because I only go where I’m invited to go and through your prayers, you invite me into those areas! Prayer is mighty, it is strong and it is mighty and prayer releases the anointing, the Spirit, to go, to be, to do, to love.

I want people to hook up and pray. I want circles of praying people, joined together in spirit. I want two by two and more. Coffee tables, prayer rooms.People praying together or alone   

I want people to know that even one voice raised in prayer is vital. Janine, get that song out. Attach it to this Word.

Me, Yes Lord. Here

“My people don’t faint for lack of knowledge, in some instances they have to much knowledge and it stifles them. People need to get out, to go, to do. Stop stuffing yourselves with more knowledge and put into action what you already know. STOP being afraid of people and be more concerned with what *I* will do if you don’t. I am a loving Father, however if people won’t go and do, I will find someone who will.

Everyone wants to be someone, have status, that is not my way. Too many people are afraid of what others will think and they forget Who gave them what they know in the first place.

I want my children to just get up and do. Spread my love. Like you tell your newsletter subscribers, ‘give someone a smile’. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

I want my people to grab the harps they have hung on the willow trees and come alive, sing a new song, be joyous. This is not a time to fear, it is a time to rejoice! I delight over you all with singing, won’t you delight with me? 

The time is now, the time is nigh. I want my people to stop pussy footing around and get in high gear. The time to strike is almost here. The shofar is about to be blown. Praise must go forward and in a far weightier and mightier way than it has before. There are so many children I have given songs too. So many prophets I have given words too. So many that are not heard. Besides that one list, there must be a clearing house for words I’ve given. There must be a room for songs I’ve given.

Would that my body would help one another in all these efforts. Would that my body would come together and love each other. How else will you show love to others? How else will anyone be provoked to jealousy to know me and what I bless you all with, if you don’t show anything about you that reflects me?

me, So Father, what you want is for praise to be mightier and heavier? How?

God – Just like people spend time in prayer, I want people to spend time in praise and worship. Just like there is 24.7 prayer, I want 24.7 worship. 

Praise

Me – wow. How?

God – just like Miss Billye Brim did with the 24/7 prayer clock, so do that with the 24/7 praise. 

me – And you want us to love each other, to help each other. Anything specific?

The Lord – If someone needs help cooking, if someone needs songs set to music, if someone needs a book reviewed – bless the hearts of those that started that group on facebook – [“The Write Time”] if someone needs socks mended or a shirt ironed. If someone needs to be driven somewhere. It’s time my people – who are called by my name by-the-way – stop working so hard for themselves, to get ahead, to do, buy, to be, and start looking around them to help others. We are family! There goes that song! ‘We are family, I got all my sisters and me’. Let’s have some fun! This is not a burdensome thing and I’m tired of that too.

Me – what?

G – people making things about me a burden. Striving, Ana said it well. Don’t strive.  Do things out of love. Back to the beginning. Stop stuffing yourselves full of more and get out and do.

Ana is no different than anyone else, she just did what I told her to do and didn’t hold back. This place that you all want, it’s right in front of you. You all have to do what I have told you to do and stop being afraid of their faces. If not you, then who?

me – yes Lord. Anything else? 

God- yes, one more thing. I am a loving God, I am fair and just. And I give grace. Lots and lots of grace. My children just need to take that first step. Just like when you have to take the first step when you’re going to belay down the mountain face, or put a song on youtube or go to the doctor when something doesn’t seem quite right. That first step is always hard. Whether in the world or with me. Especially for those that are afraid of what others will say or think about them. But I am God, I give grace upon grace. Just like you are to forgive 70×7, even in one day, so I give grace 70×7, as much as is needed. It’s a special forgiveness for slip-ups and disobedience. I am never disappointed in my children. I love you all. I long to bless all.

Thankyou Father.

G, now go post this.

Me, I will. Do you think you could talk shorter sometimes? This seems like an awful lot.

Jesus just smiled.