How She Thinks

God’s on Purpose Princess

Are you sad? Are you depressed? Do you feel like no one loves you or understands you? Do you wish you had at least one good friend? 

Were you molested, abused, ridiculed or tormented? Did one of your parents walk away and leave you, whether for a week or forever? 

Are you secretly sad? Is your skin a color you wish it weren’t?  Do you wish you were smarter, prettier, taller, shorter? Do you want to be loved, accepted, approved and liked?

God wants you to know something.

You are his Princess. He made you on purpose. There is nothing wrong with you. 

God is not in control of everyone. There are people in this world that do not acknowledge him as Lord. They are their own god, they do what they want, when they want to do it. You have probably experienced this at some point in your life.

However, God knows your hurt, He sees and He feels your pain. He knows, because he’s felt just the same.  There is a beautiful song, written by Dallas Holm that goes like this:

Jesus knows your hurt

“The pain some people bear no one would believe;
The hurt that’s sometimes there makes it hard to see
That in the darkest hour there is still a way;
Listen to these simple words I say;

Jesus knows your hurt, Jesus feels your pain;
Jesus knows just how you feel, ’cause He’s felts just the same;
Jesus knows your need better than you do;
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!

Sometimes you feel alone, does He really car?
Has He left you all alone, and does He hear your prayer?
Well, He has never left you or forsaken you one day;
Listen to these simple words I say;

Jesus knows your hurt, Jesus feels your pain;
Jesus knows just how you feel, ’cause He’s felts just the same;
Jesus knows your need better than you do;
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!

Jesus knows your heart, better than you do. And God wants you to know, you are his Princess.

God made you unique. He gave life to you, because He wants you on this earth, fulfilling your life’s destiny. He wants you to have joy and peace and prosperity. He wants us to praise him and glorify him in all we do. He wants us as his family. That’s why He made us!

God loves you

Above all, God wants you to know he loves you. He wants you to know he made you the way you are. He also wants you to know that he, who is the King of Kings, made you and gave you gifts! He made you special. 

Sure, there are rough edges on you, just like there are on everyone else in this world. However if you give your heart and life to Jesus, he will make sure you get healed of all the pain you’ve endured. Holy Spirit will smooth the rough edges and heal your heart.

I would guess 99% of people come from dysfunctional families. Women all over the world have been cussed, cursed, used, abused, attacked, screamed at and generally mistreated at the hands of someone in their life.

BUT – God wants you to know who you are. You dear girl, are God’s Princess, his creation, his adored daughter. You are his gift to the world.  

He loves you. He’s aware of you. He accepts you just as you are.

You didn’t just happen. You aren’t a mistake. He didn’t mess up when you were created. You weren’t behind a door when beauty and wisdom and patience were handed out. You didn’t come from under a rock and you were not the-last-banana-on-the-boat.

You were created ON PURPOSE – BY GOD

Our Father made you the way you are. You are awesomely and wonderfully made. Gifted, talented and skilled. If you think otherwise, then you are listening to someone else. You my friend, are God’s ‘On Purpose Princess’.  To God, you are #1. He loves us all the same, which makes all of us, #1. God does not have favorites. He sees each of us as special. So beautiful, so sweet.

Yessss, some of us don’t feel so sweet or beautiful. We know what we’ve said, we know what we’ve done. We know what’s in our hearts. Well, God does too. And that is the reason He sent Jesus, his Son, to die for us, each of us, on the cross. Jesus took away all our sins and sicknesses.  All you have to do is believe it. Why is that all you have to do??? Because the work of having someone die for you, has already been done.

Once you believe Jesus died for you on the cross, you ask him to forgive you of all the sins you have committed. Then ask Him to live in your heart. Take your self off the throne and allow Jesus the Christ to be the Lord of your life.

Once you do this, you will have salvation. That means when your body dies, your spirit will live always with God. Our spirits will always live somewhere, either in hell with the devil or in heaven with God.

If you choose not to do this, God still loves you. The fact that He created you and accepts you is still valid. However it also means you will not go to heaven when your body dies. Only if you believe Jesus died on the cross, shedding his blood, to wipe away the sins of the world, of you, personally, will that get you eternal life in heaven. 

He wants you healed. He wants you whole. He wants to give you the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope. [found in the Bible, Jeremiah, chapter 29 verse 11 usually written: Jer 29:11 ]

To do this, you need to belong to Him. You need to give your life to Him.

There is no time like the present to ask for forgiveness and accept Jesus as your Savior.

Your crown

And always, always remember, no matter what the devil on your shoulder tells you, no matter what other people may say to you, you shine up that crown, put it on your head and always tell yourself this:

I am GOD’S Princess on purpose.  He makes no junk, he loves me as I am. I am the head and not the tail. I have a purpose and I am loved. 

TCR 12-15-18 thru 12-17-18

12-15-17

I’m sitting at a highly polished, wooden table with Jesus. And he’s serving me. He’s bringing me a cup and saucer and I’m bewildered, Shouldn’t I serve you?

No, I serve you. I always have.

I am just bewildered. I’m looking quizzically with my brow furrowed.

Then he says “well I can sit down and the angels can serve us”. So he sits down, and the angels serve us. They’re bringing cups and saucers and coffee and it fades away.

Jesus said “I do it this way when people first start coming to heaven so things won’t be so strange for them. They will see things as they’re used to them, but as time goes on, you won’t need these earthly ways of doing things. I don’t do things here in heaven the same way you do them on earth. Things are different here”.

He held out his hands to me and I put my hands in his and then I put my head on his hands and he stroked the back of my hair – my head. I went to bed because he was loving on me.

12-16-17

The second time I went to the table it was the same polished wood, beautiful wood, and he put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and he said he’d lay with me on the bed with my head on his chest. So I went to bed like that.

12-17-17

Third Time it’s a round, glass tempered table. It had white doilies on it and a three-layered plate with petit fours on it and tea, or coffee, whichever I want. There was gold edging on the table, and the petit fours have pink icing, the way petit fours are supposed to be. Very pretty.

I believe it’s tea. Angels are serving us at the table. Jesus is always on the far side and he’s already there.

Jesus is leading me by the hand beside a brook and it’s all grassy and pretty. I asked Jesus, “how come I talk to God and God talks to me but it’s always Jesus that I see with me”? Jesus laughed and said, “because we are one and the same”. I asked “do you want me to call you something else instead of always calling him God? Do you want me to call you Holy Spirit or Jesus or something?”

“No, you can call me whatever you want.”

“where are we going?”

“up here a little way”.

I saw a playground with some monkey bars and swings. “Why is there a playground? And why do I feel so young”?

“because I’m going to heal you of some things from your childhood”.

I started crying and I said ‘Thank you. Will you show me colors? What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to just talk a little bit and share’.

 “Will you show me colors of the birds? Will you show me colors of heaven and food and all that’?

Jesus said “of course I will, but I want to heal you of some things first”.

‘thank you’.

“Do you want me to do anything Dad?”

He smiled gently and said “no. I’m really glad that you see me as your father now. That’s been a really important thing for you. There’s nothing that I want you to do. I just want you to spend time with me here and as you spend time with me here, I will heal you. There’s nothing for you to do Janine. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to measure up. You don’t have to say the right thing. As we talk and commune with each other and just talk, I will heal you. Come back often my daughter”

“I will Daddy!!!”

“What are we going to eat? Will you show me food in heaven? What are we going to eat? “

I heard nothing, I didn’t see where he was. ‘DADDY! Daddy!!’ I yelled with panic in my voice.

“Here I am. I want you to know that all you have to do is call for me. I will be right there. You may not see me, you may not feel me there with you, just know I am always with you. Just like you know someone always loves you, I am always with you.”

“You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that relationship aren’t you father?

“Yes I am my girl. Quite a bit, there was so much you needed to know, so much you needed to learn, so much you needed to have and so much you needed to receive.”

I see blueberries, but they’re purple and they’re sparkling. It’s like fruit made out of sequins! It’s a bowl piled high and heaping over with blueberries that are purple and shiny and sparkling.

And I see shiny translucent leaves, ‘God are those to eat’? Jesus laughed, and said ‘yes of course they are. Pick one up, you’ll see it falls through your fingers’.

I did pick one up, and it did fall through my fingers. ‘That was so weird father how do I eat it if it falls through my fingers’?

“Command it to stay together”.

Me, “Leaves I command you to stay together.”

So I ate one, and it was cool, and it was slick, it was not slimy, it tasted like green, like lime. It was fresh, I couldn’t describe it. It wasn’t tart, but it tasted kind of like it was tart, but it wasn’t. Kind of like a cucumber, cool and refreshing like a cucumber.

The sun is out, it’s a nice day. ‘Father? Why aren’t there any other kids here’?

“This is a date for you and I” He said.

‘Daddy, what are those square brown things’?

‘Pick one up and see’ he said

So I picked it up, and I turned it around, I looked at it, he said ‘rub the edges’ because the edges are very hard it seemed. So I rubbed the edges and it was soft and came off like meringue. They weren’t hard like it looked. They were square and brown, very dark brown, shiny. It felt like it was solid as well. But it was meringue and something else.

So I put it in my mouth, in my eyes grow big and wide! “Lord,! It’s sweet”!

Jesus laughed, and said “yes I know. We have sweets up here too!”

‘Daddy, will you heal me when I sleep too? I’m tired of being a little kid all the time. I can come back anytime, can’t I’?  

God said ‘yes you can, however when you start growing up and when you’re healed at the little one stage, the little one doesn’t come back so much anymore. Janine everybody starts here. Everybody starts at the child stage to be healed and to be refreshed and healed in thoughts, emotions, spirit and bodies’.

‘Father? It’s just that I’ve been dealing with the little ones inside me for so long’. God said, ‘yes I know, you’ve had a lot of things happen to you. I am going to heal your bones in this time. And it will take as long as it takes. Don’t fret about it Janine just flow with it, go with it.

‘father how am I supposed to start the things you’ve told me to do when I don’t know how am I supposed to be obedient to you, when you don’t tell me what you want? And your timing is not my timing so this healing might not be all that long’.

God, “bingo”.

‘Well father, the book is almost finished. I’m sorry it took me so long’.

G, ‘I forgive you baby girl’.

‘Daddy, I give you as long as you want, because your purpose is always perfect for me. I ask your forgiveness for chafing at the bit in Jesus name’.

‘I forgive you. You know I want what is best for you. Thank you for giving me carte blanche and the time’.

‘You’re really thanking me God?’

Yes, because it’s always easier, as you have already learned, to work with me, than any other way’.

‘Can I come back’?

‘Are you done now’?

‘Yes God, I’m tired and it’s hard to focus’.

‘Yes we can be done now. Come back with me every day. Come back and visit with me’.

‘Yes father, thank you for asking me. Thank you for healing me. (whispering) I love you back’.

 

The Cork Road

PRE-foreword.

This is a story given to me by Jesus. He has been urging me to consider sharing it all of this year, 2018. It’s been a struggle to do so. I don’t *have* too. However Daddy asks me to help others. It’s my calling. To heal in various ways. I have been set apart to do uncommon things. Today is November 4, 2018. At 4 p.m. I started this post. The number 4 in the Bible is letting in light, being creative. So here I go. And yes, it’s scary. But I’d rather do what Daddy wants, than to live in fear. 

This story is for me. It has lessons in it for me. You may also get lessons from it, different from what I get, maybe the same. It starts out not as a story, but as me going to ‘the table’ to talk with Jesus. You will understand as you read further along on this page. It becomes a story. The story itself is called The Cork Road. It may jump around, it may not follow all details, but see, it’s not a story for you, it’s for me. So I can be healed of things and so I can learn things. 

Some of the lessons come from the story, some are brought up later when I re-read it. Some lessons are in the story itself. I’m not sure yet if I will include the separate lessons or not. I kinda think I will, because they are a part of the story of me. The story goes to the middle of age 8 so far. 

I apologize beforehand if something is wrong. Like not spelling out a number under 10, or some thought is jumbled, or I cap words for emphasis instead of italicize them. I’m doing my best and it will have to be good enough. It comes to over 50k words with everything in it, to this point.

Foreword:

Each person, each human being is made up of all the parts of our lives. We are born babies and we grow. Every day, a child has things happen to them. Good and bad. If we do not have parents or caregivers, that are adults themselves – then we learn things that are not right. We learn things like anger and sarcasm.

We learn how to be a human being by those that are around us or over us. There is a significant portion of the world’s population, especially those in the USA, that did not have great role models. While no one is perfect, the parent we may have had, might have had issues they never dealt with, or perhaps they just weren’t around or didn’t care to operate as a parent. 

It is one of the goals of Jesus to heal spiritually, emotionally, and physically, all of the ages that make up a person. Jesus wants us every BIT whole. 

Jesus wants each one of us to sit with him so he can give us a story. He will heal each one of our parts. If they are wounded he will heal, if we need teaching, he will teach, if we need love, he will love on us. Whatever it is we need, we can get it from Jesus. However some times, he gives us other people and other avenues to get us healed. 

One of those avenues for me, was inner healing and deliverance counselors. Personally, I have seen these types of counselors and Holy Spirit has done some deep and awesome work in and with me.  

The Holy Spirit heals our wounded parts, and then he gets the demons off of the little one – no longer a wounded part – and gets them out of us. It is a work done through Holy Spirit.

When things happen to us, it creates a wounded part. That wounded part separates itself from the identity of the core person. The wounded part is part of the person. However they have broken off of the person and they remain at the age they became wounded. They have feelings and emotions. Anger is the predominant one. They mostly have the negative emotions, because they were wounded. In order to deal with that drama, they broke off of the person. Some people call them alternative personalities, aka alters. But when I first started going to my Inner Healing and Deliverance couple, they called them wounded parts. I AM SO GLAD they did. If they had called them alters, I would have been out of there in a hurry. That would have meant to me, I was crazy. Demon possessed. There is no truth to that, as I am and was then, a born again Christian, but our minds play tricks on us when they are not renewed and healed. Some call them ‘fragments’. For me, the most accurate and the most revealing, is calling them wounded parts. There is no one that wants to be called a ‘fragment’.

These wounded parts are VERY real. They are a part of us. They don’t want to be called a fragment or an alternative personality. They want to be loved and treated with respect. 

What they do is helping the core personality, [that’s me, or you], in the best way they know how. However, they have extreme tunnel vision. All they know is the trauma and the resulting negative feelings and thoughts that they got from that trauma.

They are from the core person but are not the person. They have feelings and emotions and they act out when they are hurt. When they are not healed, they remain a wounded part. 

When the person becomes an adult, they have all these wounded parts inside them.

I’m going to use myself as an example. When I was small, my grandfather and some of his friends had their way with me. Each time this happened, it created a wounded part. As well, every time it happened a demon had a legal right to attach itself to that wounded part.

So, if I was molested at 3 p.m., then that would be one wounded part. If I was traumatized at 3:15, that would be another wounded part. Each wounded part is like a separate person, where they have feelings, emotions, and they act out. 

Some people have wounded parts, however they have learned to hide them a lot better than other people. A relative is one. I don’t know what happened to her, but she is a super controlling person. Controlling people are trying to control everything around them, because they feel they have no control on the inside of them. It is a wounded part. This person is not a born again Christian as yet. She doesn’t know anything about wounded parts or how much Jesus loves her. Yet. She is so controlling, that she has controlled her emotions and her feelings to such a degree, that it is rare for anyone to see her have emotions. To most people, she seems like a very gracious, polite person. To some people she seems quite loving. It’s all very controlled. 

While I, on the other hand, I was also controlling. Not nearly to the degree that she is, but I was. Why? Because the sins of the fathers and mother’s are passed down to their children and their grandchildren and their great-grandchildren etc.

For much of my life, my wounded parts were visible to everybody else but me. I thought I was just “that way”, and I needed to learn how to cover it up better, I needed to learn how to be different. Others saw the anger and the hurt, I just knew I needed to learn a lot of things, I just didn’t know what. Someone I knew for several years said she prayed about me once, asking God what was wrong with me. The Lord told her I had no filters.

What I have learned in the past, is that I need to run new tapes in my head. What I heard in my head was not good. Not good about me or others. My ‘self talk’ sucked. So I found different people that knew how to think about different things and I have been incorporating those things into my head, for years. Running new tapes.  Example, ‘everything will work out’. That’s my latest one. I repeat it until it’s remembered in my head and at some point, it will be engraved there. I give myself a new tape to run in my head.

My earthly father taught me some, the mother I had taught me none. I had no one to teach me how to perceive myself and the world around me. That’s a big deal. I was essentially given birth and then left to my own devices to learn anything. Anything meaningful about life and how to react and such. Sure I can track an animal, I can fish, clean that fish, shoot a gun and clean that gun, but the finer points on how to be a lady, how to sew, how to sit, how to act…eh. However what we What we don’t know is “wrong” as children, we learn is wrong through body language and words. No matter the age.

My grandmother, with whom I lived sporadically in my young life, taught me some things. But it was all outward things. Like putting your things away not throwing them on the floor. However, my grandmother had the patience of God. It was she that planted the seed of patience in me.

When we are born, we have learned nothing. We are blank canvasses. The sins that our ancestors committed have been passed down to us. Even some of their likes and dislikes are passed down to us.

Jesus is now showing me, it’s not so much about unlearning, as about learning the right things and the right way. That’s because my little ones are healed. 

Even before I knew what the words “prophetic” and “seer” were, I was prophetic and could knew when things were going to happen. It got so that my Dad would ask me if we were going to have a flat tire on our trip, because I always knew when we would. But when he asked me, I had no idea. I didn’t know how I knew, I just knew. 

When young, I thought I had ESP. [extra sensory perception] Which is exactly what is is, but from God it’s a seer and from the world it’s ESP. I found out there was a word for it during my presbytery in 1984, in which one of the ministers said, ‘a seer have you been and a seer will you continue to be….” WOW! There was a NAME for it even! [ a 2 page, single spaced prophetic word to me that no one has ever helped me figure out]

So while reading “The Seer’s Path” by Ana Werner, she said everyone can have visions, we just need to practice. Now I had always thought God had to give me the visions. What in the world was she talking about? She’s talking about how everyone can see certain things. Though not everyone is anointed as a seer, everyone can see. Just like all seers are prophets, but not all prophets are seers. 

I did not know that I could enter into visions with Jesus at anytime!

There is an exercise in the book where Ana tells us to practice going to a table with Jesus. So I did. 

Amazed. I was flat-out amazed. The Lord showed me that he had healing for me and all my little ones. He called them my ‘little ones’. Big deal there, which I didn’t discover til later in one of the lessons. That means they are no longer wounded. Some are still angry, scared even, but they are no longer wounded. They have all accepted Jesus as their Savior at this point in time. Jesus began to teach me. He began to take me on visions. He told me he wanted me to do this every day. 

This was in December of 2017 that this started. I did not do it every single day, and in February I got the flu. By the beginning of March I was doing it every day.

Jesus asked me if I wanted to hear a story. I said yes. Every single day practically of 2018 I have spent at least an hour [more like 2 or 3] with the Lord in a vision or writing this story. This hour is not included in my prayer time.

When the Lord and I are talking, no matter the age, the vocabulary I have now, is used when necessary. Not always though. You will see this as you read, as the younger ones don’t know the meaning of some words used.

When Jesus, as my Father is talking to all the parts, he uses my given name Janine. Otherwise he calls me terms of endearment or my childhood nickname.

He is my Daddy and my Mama. When I praise him, I call him Lord. That encompasses both God and Jesus.

When the little ones do not know him as Daddy, they call him whatever they are comfortable with.

The story is very raw and personal in places. I will do what I can to lessen the rawness, nah, I’ll do what I can to lessen the personalness of it. LOL I don’t have comments open because I don’t want too. Comments are not open anywhere on this blog. If you want a facebook group to ask questions or comment, email me and I’ll start one. jamajo7 at gmail etc.

All of the days are dated or numbered in some way. I will put each day on it’s own post within this category. If I can. We’ll see. WP and I eye each other warily. 

So with a wildly beating heart and my stomach in knots, LET US BEGIN.