How She Thinks

Demons On The Doorstep

While in prayer today, 4-5-18, the Lord said when we judge someone else, the demons of that person are allowed to stay on our doorstep. They are allowed to attach to us, because we are agreeing with evil.

We are not to judge another. We are to forgive everyone. Even if they do something really bad or mean against us, we are to forgive them. To judge another person is to throw God off His throne and tell Him we can do it.

That’s like saying, I can fly this jet and take over the controls, even though we’ve never had pilot lessons. So you’re up in the air and then what?

As a human, it is our right to judge. But as a child of God, it is not our right to judge. We are to give our rights, all of them, to God. Let Him do what He needs to do, what He wants to do. Yes! It’s hard! NO! It’s not impossible!

We cannot leave bad reviews on a website about person or business, unless we have been released by God to do so. When we do that, we are then putting that person in prison, through judgement. Other people, Christian or not, read the bad reviews, then they will judge that person or business, from that review. Then it continues to exacerbate the problem and it becomes a huge problem to unravel. 

This is exactly how Satan runs this world. He gets at the underlying problems. Once there is this huge ball of judgement, it affects everyone involved. Demons are allowed on our doorstep, they are allowed to be in our homes and attach to us because we have judged another.

I repented for a lot of stuff. I took reviews off Yelp. I do not want to be agreeing with the devil in anything. I release it all to God, HE can take care of it.  

Do You Think It’s Gone?

Do you think it’s gone? Do you think because you are this age, that your childhood is gone and you can’t get it back? Do you say to yourself or God, “I can’t re-do it! I can’t get it back. what do I do”? Do you think you are lost or too far gone in any way? PLEASE stop thinking that way. Try to stop thinking that way. Try for yourself. If you follow Jesus , there is nothing further from the truth.

I know this because for the past 3-4 months, Jesus/God has been teaching my little ones. I better explain that. We are all made up of the ages we grew up through. And, if something bad happened to you at a certain age, that will create what is called a “wounded part”.  This wounded part has it’s own personality, it’s own anger, it’s own fear, it’s own attitude. Usually these wounded parts are trying to help the core person in some way, in ways they think are appropriate. But rarely is it appropriate. 

Some people call them alternate personalities, but that’s a scary term to my little ones. Besides they weren’t ‘alternate personalities’ because they never shut down reality for my core person and acted on their own. So, they are wounded parts. They are wounded little ones. [Others call them fragments, but mine are all people and they are real, they are not a fragment. That’s me, you can call them whatever your heart wants too]. I had a lot of wounded parts. I went through inner healing and deliverance for 9 or 10 yrs. I’ll probably write a book on it one day. 😉 

Some of my back story sucks. Let me say this and I think you’ll understand. My parents had one child, my sister. My mother wanted another child. It was me. But all she wanted was another child. She didn’t want to raise it. So she didn’t. My dad taught me some stuff, different times when she would send me away to live with him or my grandmother. Needless to say – I didn’t learn the things kids with one or two caring adults in their lives learn. I didn’t really ‘raise myself’, cause I didn’t know anything. This has made my life exceedingly difficult to get through. I managed in some areas, others have been sorely lacking. 

I read Ana Werner’s book, “The Seer’s Path. In it she has us do an exercise to start seeing in the spirit. I’m already a seer, so that wasn’t hard. However, when I started this, I met with Jesus and He told me ‘this is going to take a while, are you willing to sit with me and do this’? I said yes. LITTLE knowing what it would entail.

So what is Jesus doing?

He’s taking me through each age and healing and teaching. DON”T THINK something can’t be undone!! IT CAN BE. Thru Jesus. I am now at 7 years old. I just transferred to 7 from 6 last week, March, 23, 2018 to be exact. That’s also when I learned, as a 6-7 yr old, that God is real, He’s not a figment of my imagination. I do hear Him and He really, really loves me. I know He loves me because He’s listening to me. He’s answering my questions, He never once has told me to shut up, or stop talking or stop asking questions. That’s love. 

Always happy girl

He has taught me so many things already. Some of them He’s taught by words and some by, the only way to say it, is osmosis. He’s teaching me things underneath the words and lessons. I know this, because I am acting and speaking differently than before. As an adult.

I want to encourage you to never think your past is done and can’t be undone. It CAN be undone with and through Jesus. There are stories Jesus wants to write with others. You may be one. Those who have had a bad childhood, no matter whose fault it was, no matter the reasons why. It could have been just a short space of time or a long space of time. Since 99% of people come from a dysfunctional home, I would guess you had something rough in your life. Jesus wants to sit with you and He wants you to come to Him and take the time to listen and write your story. It will take time. He wants to be with me every day, to tell the story. This is besides prayer time. When I am in this stage, I actually regress to that age and sound like a kid. 

I will start posting installments of the story. Now mind you. I have this blog because God told me to put my personal journal online, that it will help others. So when I post the installments, some of them are just lessons, a part of the story. Yep, I’m gonna let you in on all the ‘stuff’. I will put it under the category of The Cork Road. Because that’s what Jesus calls the story, The Cork Road.

I promise you, if you take the time to sit and be still with the Lord, to envision yourself with Jesus at a table [what does the table look like? what do you see around you?], to talk with Him, to spend time with Him and I’m talking time, not 5 or 10 minutes, but 30 or more; He will give you a story. He will heal your little ones. It just takes one step and it has to start with you. 

There is POWER in Our Hands!

3-23-18 Wednesday, Praying Medic was speaking at Prepare the Way International. He spoke on a LOT of things, one of them was power and authority. So I’m looking up ‘how to release the power’. I found this on the power in our hands
 
I sure hope it blesses someone else as much as it has blessed and enlightened me. This explains SO MUCH to me. WHY I feel a tingling in my hands and WHY I feel heat sometimes and why sometimes I don’t feel heat, but others do.
WHY the enemy tried to take me out by falling face first on the concrete, and both my hands breaking.
 
It explains WHY I can feel pain sometimes in people’s bodies and WHY I can feel the frequencies in plants. man oh man oh man.

Overeating-Suicide-Self-Hatred

Why is eating when I’m not hungry, comforting?

It’s emotional. Get my emotions under control.

It harkens back to not having enough to eat, which was when I lived with my mother.

It also is due to the fear I had. Food brought me comfort BECAUSE I equated sweet things or a VERY FULL belly with comfort. BECAUSE I was able to do something. I could feed my self.

So take those two emotions are compounded, the result is a messed up emotionally human, who eats when she isn’t hungry, but to satisfy the trained part of her psyche that says ‘to eat means she won’t be hungry’, even though she’s not hungry now. It’s the only thing she can do to satisfy her self. So that mind set has to be released from thinking there is lack and that eating to satisfy IT is good, when actually, I am fighting myself. I’m allowing my mind to harm my body. [I sob at this realization]

In NO WAY is this the body’s fault. It’s all the mind.

THIS IS Satan’S WAY OF MESSING WITH US. HE GETS IN OUR MINDS FROM OUR PASTS AND THINGS THAT happened then and happen now. Because things continue to happen because of how we act, because of our pasts, which we act out, and we get bad reactions from others, which reinforces the rejection and self hatred that was embedded in our minds, in our pasts. THAT is what we need deliverance from. THAT is why people commit suicide. Because they can’t stand the self hatred and don’t know how to battle the thoughts. Whether Christians or not. 

My body has to deal with EVERYTHING I put in it. It can only fight so much, then it wears out from severe overuse and too much fighting. BUT, BUT! God made our bodies to HEAL themselves given the right actions and ingredients!

Our minds are the #1 battlefield.

[well this ought to be helpful to some, people and shrinks alike] 3p 3-10-18 talk about a journal entry! 

I Asked God What He Wanted-His Reply

3-9-18 

Stop praying for power and pray from power. Larry Sparks.

Father, what do You want to release in the earth at this time? Father what do you want?

G, are you ready?

Me, I think so. yes.

I want revival more than you do. However I want my body to come into agreement and love one another. I want prayer through love, not through personal wants. I want those Chinese children taken care of as well in Yunnan Province. Oh, how my heart aches for them. But who will go? Who will pray? Who will pray for those areas of the world that are still lost? Yes! Oh yes! There are still areas of people that are lost. My Word goes out mightily in many corners and ditches of the world, but not all have heard. VietNam, Cambodia, prayer my girl, prayer will release my Spirit in all areas where He has not gone. Because I only go where I’m invited to go and through your prayers, you invite me into those areas! Prayer is mighty, it is strong and it is mighty and prayer releases the anointing, the Spirit, to go, to be, to do, to love.

I want people to hook up and pray. I want circles of praying people, joined together in spirit. I want two by two and more. Coffee tables, prayer rooms.People praying together or alone   

I want people to know that even one voice raised in prayer is vital. Janine, get that song out. Attach it to this Word.

Me, Yes Lord. Here

“My people don’t faint for lack of knowledge, in some instances they have to much knowledge and it stifles them. People need to get out, to go, to do. Stop stuffing yourselves with more knowledge and put into action what you already know. STOP being afraid of people and be more concerned with what *I* will do if you don’t. I am a loving Father, however if people won’t go and do, I will find someone who will.

Everyone wants to be someone, have status, that is not my way. Too many people are afraid of what others will think and they forget Who gave them what they know in the first place.

I want my children to just get up and do. Spread my love. Like you tell your newsletter subscribers, ‘give someone a smile’. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

I want my people to grab the harps they have hung on the willow trees and come alive, sing a new song, be joyous. This is not a time to fear, it is a time to rejoice! I delight over you all with singing, won’t you delight with me? 

The time is now, the time is nigh. I want my people to stop pussy footing around and get in high gear. The time to strike is almost here. The shofar is about to be blown. Praise must go forward and in a far weightier and mightier way than it has before. There are so many children I have given songs too. So many prophets I have given words too. So many that are not heard. Besides that one list, there must be a clearing house for words I’ve given. There must be a room for songs I’ve given.

Would that my body would help one another in all these efforts. Would that my body would come together and love each other. How else will you show love to others? How else will anyone be provoked to jealousy to know me and what I bless you all with, if you don’t show anything about you that reflects me?

me, So Father, what you want is for praise to be mightier and heavier? How?

God – Just like people spend time in prayer, I want people to spend time in praise and worship. Just like there is 24.7 prayer, I want 24.7 worship. 

Praise

Me – wow. How?

God – just like Miss Billye Brim did with the 24/7 prayer clock, so do that with the 24/7 praise. 

me – And you want us to love each other, to help each other. Anything specific?

The Lord – If someone needs help cooking, if someone needs songs set to music, if someone needs a book reviewed – bless the hearts of those that started that group on facebook – [“The Write Time”] if someone needs socks mended or a shirt ironed. If someone needs to be driven somewhere. It’s time my people – who are called by my name by-the-way – stop working so hard for themselves, to get ahead, to do, buy, to be, and start looking around them to help others. We are family! There goes that song! ‘We are family, I got all my sisters and me’. Let’s have some fun! This is not a burdensome thing and I’m tired of that too.

Me – what?

G – people making things about me a burden. Striving, Ana said it well. Don’t strive.  Do things out of love. Back to the beginning. Stop stuffing yourselves full of more and get out and do.

Ana is no different than anyone else, she just did what I told her to do and didn’t hold back. This place that you all want, it’s right in front of you. You all have to do what I have told you to do and stop being afraid of their faces. If not you, then who?

me – yes Lord. Anything else? 

God- yes, one more thing. I am a loving God, I am fair and just. And I give grace. Lots and lots of grace. My children just need to take that first step. Just like when you have to take the first step when you’re going to belay down the mountain face, or put a song on youtube or go to the doctor when something doesn’t seem quite right. That first step is always hard. Whether in the world or with me. Especially for those that are afraid of what others will say or think about them. But I am God, I give grace upon grace. Just like you are to forgive 70×7, even in one day, so I give grace 70×7, as much as is needed. It’s a special forgiveness for slip-ups and disobedience. I am never disappointed in my children. I love you all. I long to bless all.

Thankyou Father.

G, now go post this.

Me, I will. Do you think you could talk shorter sometimes? This seems like an awful lot.

Jesus just smiled.

California-Arizona REVIVAL

I just watched a Facebook live with Ana Werner and Larry Sparks. Many years ago, the Lord gave me a vision of people praying all over Arizona. The four corners, standing on high places, praying. In parapets, praying.

Tonight while listening to them, at the very end of the broadcast, I felt the revival is coming. Word here.  It’s going to hit California, then Arizona, then spread North and East. I felt the Lord wants people walking everywhere in the States they are in, praying, praying, claiming neighborhoods, claiming cities, towns, States, Nations. I could see people walking from the top of California all the way down to the bottom and across. I could see the same in Arizona. Praying, worshipping.

For a little over a decade a group called Glory! International has ridden horses all over the United States of America, holding prayer and worship meetings. Go to their website, support them if you are called too. It’s a magnificent ministry and full of the power of the Lord.

I have walked up and down busy streets, praying for people. Praying at intersections. I will walk further now. How about you? Will I see you on the road praying and worshipping?  

 

 

Invested Love

Love
Standing the Test of Time

There are all kinds of love as you know. You have now known forever love. Since you have, you now need to turn your attention to other kinds of love, even – yes even, falling in love again. It can be done. You have experienced deep love, falling in love and it being reciprocated, which is the true measure of falling in love. You have lost that love. Through death or betrayal or some other way. But you’ve had it, you’ve known it, you’ve felt it.

Knowing what love is, knowing your heart has been filled with it in the past, you can now turn your attention to the people in your life now. You are now able to love with all your heart. Because, like God loving us, true love is abiding. It won’t walk away, it won’t turn on you, it is always there, in your heart. 

New Love

Having that deep human need to be loved, filled, it did what it was supposed to do. It activated our hearts to love again. Yes, even falling in love again. That’s what abiding love does. It means you can love again, with the same heart felt, deep abiding love. It is not a betrayal of the first love, it  honors the first love. First love is the opening of our hearts to love. Opening our hearts to another, means the first love did what it was intended to do. It gave us a *knowing*. That confidence that we are or have been, loved. It filled up our senses and satisfied our souls.  

Love is not meant to be kept close to the vest. 

Love is not meant to be kept close to the vest. Click To Tweet

It is meant to be invested in others. It is meant to be given away in whatever measures the person and situation call for. 

So keep that first love in your heart, keep it there where it fills you up. When it’s time, let it begin to go to that special box you have in your mind, where you keep good memories that make you feel good, but that you don’t revisit often, if at all. It’s just a confident knowing that it’s always there and it was real. 

Go on to live a full life, loving those around you now. Honor the first, true love you had, by giving love to another. Knowing, in your heart of hearts, that first, deep, abiding love, started you on the road to sharing love and that it’s still with you. 

Men In Charge-Women Relinquish

 

It’s godly [God-like] for a man to protect and take charge. It’s not godly for a woman to take charge. While men have to learn how to be with a woman – and sometimes it takes a long time – they still have to be in charge and the woman must stop being in charge. Especially women that are strong women, or women that were single moms. women have learned they must be in charge because of circumstances.

When women are around men, they need to be able to let the female side of them surface, not the take charge side. That is hard, switching back and forth and some women never attain it. 

Men tend to be lazy and not work hard at being in charge because they would rather just ‘let her do it, she wants too’. But that’s a lie, women don’t want too, they were forced too at some point in their lives. Also, some women haven’t learned the balance of being a strong woman and allowing the man to lead. It’s an art.

When a husband and wife have the headship correctly, it works. The marriage works. That’s how God intended it to be.  

For a man to say, “you’re my girl”, it speaks of something deeply inside him that is different from the deep emotion attached to “you’re my woman”. “You’re my girl is protective, as a man should be toward a woman. “You’re my woman” is thinking like an equal, still protective, but on an equal basis.

God makes lemon chiffon pie out of lemons. When we mess up in our choices, God can and does turn it around if we lean into Him and do our best.  

Violated Veteran

2-16-18 I realize I feel violated.

Around 2015 I met with Sherry Mercier, talking about the American Legion. She lost her leg because of bone cancer. She told me about Ft. McClellan being toxic. We were talking bones and I told her about a doctor I had who was alarmed at the degree of osteoporosis I had/have. She said there was probably a correlation. But I didn’t pursue it. WHY? Because I’m not a blamer. 

Medal

I and others in my prayer group have prayed about my bones, to grow, for 15 yrs. They seem to be dissolving, especially in my jaw. I have gone for prayer to Texas, every where asking for prayer for my bones to grow in. I know God heals. I’ve been a recipient of that healing power many times. However, I haven’t seen anything happening and it’s been so long.

At the end of Jan. 2018, I fasted about this for 3 days. I received no direction, no information. I received a lot of other revelation, but nothing about this. So last night, 2-15-18, running my tongue over one of the two implants in the lower jaw, I became alarmed. I have done my best to fight fear. To not think of bad things, to not fear but have faith. I have faith.

So a thought came to me to look up Ft. McClellan. I did. I was there for basic training July to August 1973. The ‘do you have a basis to file a claim’ site, does not list severe osteoporosis as one of their ailments, but they also say they don’t know all the ailments that would happen. 

Basic training graduation 1973 Ft. McClellan Me, 2nd row down from top, right side, 3rd one in. In this photo, Janelle Baert, Donna Wilson, Sadler, Lynn Wonder, Mary Margaret Strauss, Carol Vail, Sharon Zanowich, Banks, DS Ruff [drill doggie Cha Cha], DS Bailey, Cpl Brewster, Lt __, Capt ___, & others I can’t remember their names
Well, one of the questions I’ve always had, was, ‘did I do this to myself through not eating right? Did I do this to myself through something I did or didn’t do’? At least that has been answered. I did not.

The song ‘Hallelujah’ is on in the background. I am stunned. Tears course down my cheeks. I know God knows me and loves me. I know He joys over me with singing. I know He delights in me. I know He’s aware of what is going on. 

The one thing no one wants, is to live life maimed and/or in pain. 

There has been a bill before Congress since 2015 to get a health registry going for those that were at Ft. McClellan between 1935 and 1999. It has been renewed every year and is now before Congress with this number: H.R. 3666 – 115th Congress (2017-2018). 

This, article from 2014, < link – explains it well. 

I feel violated. Monsanto is the culprit here, along with the United States Military for trying to hide this and denying claims.

I knew I was signing up to defend my country. I did not think my country would be the one to hurt me and then cover it up. 

Later I will come out fighting. But today, sitting here stunned, I cry.

I leave you with the tune from Don Quixote, most of the lyrics by me. 

To dream the impossible dream
To right the unrightable wrong
We had basic at Ft. McClellan
We trained and sang marching songs

This was our quest
To fight for our land
No matter how hopeless
Together we’d stand

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into hell
For our country’s cause

And we thought, if we’d only be true 
To this glorious quest
That our hearts would lie peaceful and calm
When we’re laid to our rest

But we found, we’re betrayed by our own. 
We are scorned and denied benefits
Now we strive to have health and live life
Pass the bill, there’s enough evidence!

 

 

 

Fire On The Altar

2-4-18 3 a.m.

I am CONVICTED of my selfishness and self-absorption. 

God told me to ‘use and sell flower essences’. He told me to write a book on it for people to understand it. God said ‘it’s mine and I want it back’. And I’ve been making it about me. MY fears, MY concerns, how I will look if I am wrong in the book.

God love me, I’ve rolled my eyes – more than once.

I am APPALLED at my behaviors and reactions. Thank God for His mercy and grace and PATIENCE. 

This is SO not about me. It’s not about me. It’s about God. It’s about what HE wants. It’s not about whether or not I think He’s crazy for asking ME to do this. Just who do I think I am, telling God He should pick someone else? Who am I to not joyfully embrace what He told me to do? WHO AM I to think I know more or better than God? That is my biggest failing. Oh God, forgive me. 

repentant heart

I am so…ashamed is the best word…of how I’ve acted with this and that I – who most will tell you is the least selfish person they know – I have taken pride in that. Oh God, forgive me. It doesn’t matter about others, what they think or don’t think. What matters is You and what you think and what You want.

I can not _believe_ how selfish I am! Look what the Moravians did. God, forgive me, forgive me. I repent. 

I am reading “Fire On The Altar” by  Frank “JJ” Di Pietro and J. D. King. What an AMAZING recount of the Moravians, John Wesley and others.