How She Thinks

One Day You Will Have Regrets

I loved you.  I LOVED you.

The one thing you wanted more in life than anything else was to have someone love you, really love you, forever. Other than God.

You were.

You wanted to belong. You wanted to be taken care of. You wanted to be loved.

Until you decided you wanted what you want and it doesn’t matter whom you hurt.

Like this is the first time? Oh nooo. But it is your last. And not only that. You have lost my friendship as well. We both know for the most part, I can be bought. We know to a certain extent, I can be sweet talked. But to do this to me, the one who loved you. Time after time after time

After time.

To be more important to your self, than I am to you; to yell at me when you said you wouldn’t talk, you would let me yell at you for what you did;

To say ‘I have to work on it’ to the various and sundry millions of things, and NEVER to work on it, is manipulation. It drug it out. If you had called me the next day, Skyped. If you had bent over backwards to be kind, nice and sweet to me the next day, or the next, or the next, I would have forgiven you and we would at LEAST have been friends.

But you are too stubborn to give in. It has to be your way or the highway. You think you are more important than me, than backing off.

But you didn’t call. You haven’t talked. You thought you were just going to talk normally the next day. I told you I was DONE and I wouldn’t be talking to you. You argued with me! ‘Yes, we’ll talk’.

You think you are God’s gift to me. At one point, you were. And the Lord walked me through a lot of things because I was with you, specifically. But you have not been God’s gift to me for some time.

July 28th, 2015 or so.

Then on top of it all. You lied to me. You lied to me about working that Sunday, by not telling me.                            You lied to me by not telling me you were working that Sunday to compensate for taking time off.  You lied to me telling me you did not put in for time off until the day before, then it comes out you put in for it 2 weeks before.

You lied to me on Dec. 22, saying you had just asked the day before. Then you lied again saying you asked the day before that.  Then you lied again saying you told me.

You have been lying to your family and your self for years. You are REALLY good at it. You twist things to make it sound like it was something else. You make people think they didn’t hear it right or they don’t remember, because, oh yes, in your soft voice, you con them into thinking it was them and you aren’t at fault.

But you never figured on my memory. You never figured you would meet someone who was on to tricks like yours and would ferret you out.

You choose. You choose work and your self over me.

And you never contacted me first. Last September you said you would contact me first after our next fight. But you didn’t. You said you would do it on the next fight again, but you didn’t. You never do.

You are too proud and too stubborn. The Bible says a haughty spirit goes before a fall. That is you. A haughty spirit.

You have waited too long this time.

Apparently you don’t miss me. But you will. There will be different times that you will regret so deeply that you threw away the only woman who ever, truly loved you. You will regret it. You threw my love away AND my friendship. One day you will be sorry. One day, you will have regrets. Deep regrets.

 

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