How She Thinks

Overeating-Suicide-Self-Hatred

Why is eating when I’m not hungry, comforting?

It’s emotional. Get my emotions under control.

It harkens back to not having enough to eat, which was when I lived with my mother.

It also is due to the fear I had. Food brought me comfort BECAUSE I equated sweet things or a VERY FULL belly with comfort. BECAUSE I was able to do something. I could feed my self.

So take those two emotions are compounded, the result is a messed up emotionally human, who eats when she isn’t hungry, but to satisfy the trained part of her psyche that says ‘to eat means she won’t be hungry’, even though she’s not hungry now. It’s the only thing she can do to satisfy her self. So that mind set has to be released from thinking there is lack and that eating to satisfy IT is good, when actually, I am fighting myself. I’m allowing my mind to harm my body. [I sob at this realization]

In NO WAY is this the body’s fault. It’s all the mind.

THIS IS Satan’S WAY OF MESSING WITH US. HE GETS IN OUR MINDS FROM OUR PASTS AND THINGS THAT happened then and happen now. Because things continue to happen because of how we act, because of our pasts, which we act out, and we get bad reactions from others, which reinforces the rejection and self hatred that was embedded in our minds, in our pasts. THAT is what we need deliverance from. THAT is why people commit suicide. Because they can’t stand the self hatred and don’t know how to battle the thoughts. Whether Christians or not. 

My body has to deal with EVERYTHING I put in it. It can only fight so much, then it wears out from severe overuse and too much fighting. BUT, BUT! God made our bodies to HEAL themselves given the right actions and ingredients!

Our minds are the #1 battlefield.

[well this ought to be helpful to some, people and shrinks alike] 3p 3-10-18 talk about a journal entry! 

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