How She Thinks

So You Want A Coach?

Good speakers are coaches. They open up another’s mind to possibilities.

Good teachers are coaches, they open up another’s mind to possibilities

Good friend are coaches, they ask challenging question no one has the courage to ask.

Anyone, anyone can be a coach. What makes one different from the other millions out there?

Coaches are mentors, they are consultants, they are friends, they are mastermind groups. Coaches help one think from a different perspective. They ask questions like, ‘if you are doing the same thing 20 years from now, how would you feel’?

They have no vested interest in whatever you are going through other than the money they are being paid. Therefore, they can afford to probe and move on. This is not necessarily a bad thing. They learn enough about you to know what questions to ask. However on the flip side, there are only so many different personalities, so it can be learned. 

Much like the Myers-Briggs personality test, there are many online tests one can take to determine their bent, their personality, the way they are.

There are also webpages that tell about personality types insofar as coaching is concerned, Here is one.

For instance, there is the ‘expressive’. These people are intuitive, great in sales, communication, drive and enthusiasm. What kills their energy and enthusiasm? Tedium, micro management, personal stagnation. These types are receptive to coaching – IF the coach can establish a relationship of relevance. Expressives base everything on values.

So, presumably, a coach just has to frame their comments in terms of that person’s values. Murky ground here. I would suggest getting on a coaches’  face book group, connect with them through various avenues.

For those that care about themselves and pay attention to who is speaking into their lives, it’s more important to have someone with the same values, than it is to have a ‘Christian’ coach.

 What differentiates coaching from different avenues such as friendship, mentors and consultants?

For starters, if it’s a friend, their mind may wander onto another topic. They are, perhaps, not focused on your issue, your problem at hand. However, in reality, many times friends are the best coaches if they are willing to speak up about issues and not just be a ‘yes man’.

A mentor is someone who is there for the long haul, mentoring is relationship oriented and can be of personal or professional issues.  A mentor has a personal interest, is personally involved for your long term development.

Mentoring is biased in your favor. 

Coaching is short term and focuses on a particular issue. It is task oriented. Coaches generally focus on skills to make a person better at their job, although it can also be in personal issues. Coaching is impartial, focused on improvement in behavior.

I wrote this after reading about a self confessed follower of Jesus, who is also a coach, say he was sad Hillary did not win. I’m not saying Democrats can not be Jesus followers. For me, I want anyone that is going to speak into my life and/or my business to have similar values. They don’t have to be a Christian for me to use them as a business coach, but they do have to have values. I don’t want anyone speaking into any area of my life that does not have somewhat similar values to mine. Determine why you are searching for a coach and vet them. Find out if their values mesh with yours.  



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