How She Thinks

Forgiveness And Hurt – How To Deal

Forgiveness and hurt. It’s not that I want to keep and hold on to the hurt, it’s that I want you to hurt as much as I hurt, because then you will know how much I hurt and you will care and you will not do it again. That’s what we all think anyway. It rarely works. 

So people continue to hurt people. I hurt you, you hurt me. Instead, there is a better way. Forgiveness sets us free. You don’t even know I’m angry at you if you are not around me. So stress, many sicknesses caused by stress and anger, these can all be gone from us if we forgive others. If we truly let go of the pain, the hurt, the wanting to get back at them. 

Hurt is unforgiveness. Release the hurt, release the unforgiveness. This means to let go of the pain, let go of the fear, let go of the anger. Let it go and get on with your life.

Read a book by John Bevere called, ‘The Bait of Satan’. or watch it here.

 

 

When You Know You Are Loved

                                                      

not perfect

When you know you are loved, you don’t worry AS MUCH about what others think of how you look.

When you know you are loved, you have a calmness about life and relationships and things.

 

mistakes forgiven

When you know you are loved, you know, deep in your heart that mistakes you make, will be forgiven.

 

When you know you are loved, you walk straighter, you have a bounce in your step.

 

When you know you are loved, you have this assuredness in the deep part of your heart that you are not alone, you are worthwhile, you are worthy.

 

confident

 

 

                   When you know you are loved, you have confidence

 

  • Confidence that you can 
  • Confidence that you’re not a bother
  • Confidence in how you act
  • Confidence in who you are
  • Confidence that you belong
  • Confidence you are protected
  • Confidence not ‘will they like me, but confidence that you are fine if they don’t 

If you know you are loved like this by a human, it points you to how deeply God loves you. If you know you are loved like this by God, you can do exploits. Click To Tweet

 

To my human – thank you for teaching me, thank you for your patience, for showing me love and for showing me how much God loves me, to what depth, with what kindness.

heart to heart

 

To my God, thank You for choosing a human with a heart like Yours, to show me to what depth and how much, You love me. Ephesians 3:18

Abundant love

I Have A Choice Today

which choice?

11-6-17 I have a choice today. A choice to stay angry and hurt at all the things my ex husband is doing, since he started staying with me 2 weeks ago while he’s in between jobs, or to choose to live my life differently. TODAY. I have been practicing forgiveness and praying for him for 2 weeks. That’s not an easy thing in itself already. It’s not like it’s a once a day deal. The reasons we are divorced are still there. We normally get along, unless we are together for too long a time. Three days is usually the max. This has been 2 weeks with one left to go. 

But this morning, before I even got out of bed, it seems to all have come to a head. I had a bad dream about him, caused by my own accusatory mouthiness the night before.  So all I have inside me is anger at him being the way he is and not caring enough about me, to make changes. At least, that’s how I see it.

A friend of mine on face book posted something this morning that said, “Be the gift, be gentle with each other today” and I realize I have a choice. That choice ‘they’ all say we have. That choice that is a step and is most of the time, hard to take, because it’s easier to wallow in self pity and staying angry because we’re so used to being angry at that person or situation. It is easier to stay in the crummy mood we’re in, because we’re so used to it. Or because making a decision to stop being angry means we have to change the way we’re thinking and change is hard. Or because we have to turn loose of being offended, of having our rights, the right to be treated better, the right to be loved, the right to hurt, we have to let that all go. 

I am smack dab in the middle of letting go of my right to be hurt because someone is being himself. [yes, the import of that is not lost on me] I am crying as I write this. It’s hard to be hurt and let it go. It feels like I am pushing down, burying, my feelings. Like I’m not allowing myself to hurt. But that is a lie from the enemy of my soul. Satan. That is an old ploy and I recognize it now. I am not burying my feelings. I am crying, therefore, I am feeling them. I am writing about them, therefore i am feeling them.  

Because I realize this, now I am set free in my inner woman. [woo hoo!] 

We all love having choices right? My choices are to remain in a state of stress, like it’s been for some days, or make a conscious choice, without using force on myself, to accept those things I cannot change and to stop trying to change those things that will not change. To tell myself, as we did in basic training, ‘this is not the Army, this is only basic training’,  AND to celebrate the days left of him being around AND to LAY ASIDE every expectation, every hurt that comes my way and leave it alone. Don’t pick it up, just leave it on the ground or let it zing on past me. Those poison arrows are, indeed, intended for me, but if I don’t pick them up, I can’t be hurt by them. It may seem like a tall order, but in reality, it’s making a choice to live in health. [God reminded me this morning to take a flower essence, I’ll have to see which one deals in stress]

TODAY, I make my choice to be unoffendable. I take back the power I’ve given to another to offend me, make me angry or hurt me. [the understanding of this concept is coming to me] I make my choice for my self. To attend to my needs. To love me more than another and in the doing, I will love them. Love your neighbor as yourself says the Bible. 

I choose to BE and ACT differently than I have recently, thereby changing how I feel in the process. To celebrate these days he will be here and to not expect to make silk out of a sow’s ear. [and I choose to leave the house for a while and to open the windows and doors to the beautiful 80F weather, exchanging the inside air for the fresh air and negative ions] 

                                                                           I choose life over death. 

 

 

 

 

Forgiveness, Anger, Changing

Dear Son,

It’s admirable that you think your current issues are not due to your childhood/me/your Dad, however truth be told, they are. You didn’t just catch these issues, like you catch a ball. The issues of the last 26 years between us, stems from issues from your childhood/teenage-hood.

We are like oil and water. I wanted to be a PTA mom and having a child that was hyperactive made that impossible. That child acted out because his mother didn’t take care of her issues and his father didn’t take care of his issues.
Sins are passed down through generations. Through our DNA. Just like genetics of how we look and how our bodies are, what we are prone too. That’s if each person doesn’t take care of their issues.

I have had issues where I have forgiven the person and not myself. But here’s the deal. Yeah, I know your faith has not kicked back in yet, but, if you can forgive others and not yourself, you are saying you are above everyone. Opposite side, if others forgive you, who are you to set yourself higher than everyone else? There is nothing more special in you than there is in anyone else you know.

I have recently been dealing with that. Just like I extend forgiveness to others, I need to do it for myself. As do you. I forgive myself. I’m human. I am not better than others. I am not any better in any way, than anyone else. We are all human. Which flows into the policing of others’ behavior.

example. email interaction with a ‘senior sales mgr’ in a company that sends out samples. He has been very rude in his emails. Saying he won’t send a sample to a residential address. I gave him all the proof he would need to know I have a home based business. He wrote back saying, ‘oh well, too bad’. It was all I could do not to write back.

Years ago someone I am acquainted with said she figured I was so rude and angry because something must have happened in my life. Most of the time, we all, as people, don’t give a rude, angry person a second chance. We figure they are this way and they’ll always be this way. Which means we have set ourselves above another. We think we know all there is to know about someone, even years later. God gives us a second chance, who are we to not do the same for others? We do need to use discernment though, we need to watch the person and see how they act. We need to make sure we have forgiven that person. But lots of times, we don’t really forgive.

We say we do, but if we do, we also need to turn loose of the anger and the hurt. Which we usually don’t. Forgiveness isn’t just words, it’s also actions and conscious decisions to ‘let go’, ‘give away’ things that have hurt. Words and actions and feelings.

So, I remembered this person had said that about me and realized this man must be a very angry person, so instead of getting MY feelings hurt because he was disrespectful to me, someone he doesn’t know, someone he should have been nice too, I prayed for him. Without anger. Which was easier to do because someone had extended that understanding to me at one time.

Customer service means we are nice to people we don’t know. It means we offer them respect and deference. We do this because we don’t know them.

So if we honor and respect and are nice too those we don’t know, isn’t it more important to be nice to ourselves  To respect and honor our feelings and what we think? How we feel? How in the world can we really love someone else, when we disrespect ourself?

I think the way of showing oneself as having ‘arrived’ at being mature, adult and honorable is showing love and respect to ourselves, thereby we are able to give it to others.

The ultimate gift we can give, is being unoffendable. If we can be unoffendable, there is no need to police someone else’s behavior because they didn’t measure up to what ‘we’ consider even nominal ‘acceptable’ behavior.

If we can be unoffendable, then we live and let live. We don’t hold someone’s feet to the fire as-it-were in order to ‘get back’ at them. We do need to stand up for ourselves and what we need, but we need to do it in love, not in anger. Not in policing someone else’s behavior. We can only change ourselves. We should be examples to others, not telling them how to live or what to do. Unless they ask for our opinion or advice.

It’s a tall order my son and it can be done. But first, forgive yourself, because you are like the rest of us, human. Let go of the hurt, the anger. Decide that whatever you write on a piece of paper and set a match too, you will release and not take back. No matter how many times anger or frustration starts to well up inside you, don’t take it back. It no longer belongs to you. We don’t steal, we don’t take what doesn’t belong to us.

It takes work and perseverance and it’s doable.

You are loved. You are forgiven. Now that you are married, hopefully you will ask for forgiveness many, many times and you will get forgiveness. I hope you will also give forgiveness many, many times. 

I love you. I have forgiven you. ‘They’ say the past can’t be changed. I disagree. When we forgive someone, that changes our past. When our thoughts are healed, when our emotions are healed – and some of it can be done without being a follower of Jesus – then what affected us in the past is changed. When we forgive ourselves, not only is our past changed, our future is too.  

 

May 2017 Revelations

5-5-17 Facebook is not my friend, it’s a tool. I may have friends on fb, but it’s not were friendship should be carried out. 

Jesus is the visible image of the invisible God.

Frequencies are the minute pieces of Jesus’ healing power. 

When I trust and write down what seems really odd, Jesus opens the door for more. She who is faithful in the little things! Luke 16.10

5-18-17 I had already asked forgiveness for doing things man’s way instead of God’s way. 

me, Can we talk about putting Moringa and Myrtle in every essence? 

God says, ‘sure, doesn’t everyone have fears about something’? Doesn’t everyone need a little more love? Doesn’t everyone need to know that things will be okay?”

Me, yes. 

G, you GUESS? 

Me, I just think God, that some people think they don’t need..[God interrupted]

G, ah yes, but if people only got what they think they need, they wouldn’t have much of anything would they? they wouldn’t have what they truly need, would they? 

Me, humbly and chagrined, in a small voice, ‘no’.

G, if I and we leave everyone to their own devices on what they think they need…well then Janine, do you understand now?

me, yes Father, thank You.

G, My pleasure baby girl. I’m not upset with you Janine. I did not say it with the tone of voice or attitude that you heard it in. That’s a filter that needs to be shattered. 

Me, Father I ask You shatter that filter in me now, in Jesus name.

G, now? you want me to shatter it now?

Me, yes please, if it’s in your will and your timing to do it now.

G, it is, it may hurt a little, but you’ll be fine, as you know, you are always fine on the other side.

Me, please go for it God. I want to be more in you and less in me and definitely I want any filter that is not a good filter to be broken, shattered, in Jesus name. I ask for You to do this now. [I feel like I’m going willingly to the dentist] 

5-20-17 – when WE think God is slow, it’s that WE have not used the authority that He has given us because we are His daughters and his sons thru His Spirit. HE’S not slow, he’s waiting on us!

My Prayer – I want to be free of shame and frear and doubt and unbelief. I want to know who you are God and how you operate. I want to know the greatness of your power, the greatness of your grace, the greatness of your favor. I want to enjoy this life that you have given me, free from the negative and fully learning and charging into all the things you have given to me. 

I think, from watching Ken Copeland, that I can know you in many ways. I can know who you are and how you do. I want to know these things God. I don’t want to keep going along in life knowing a tiny bit but not fully understanding you. I want to be more friends with you. I want to have a different relationship, a deeper relationship and friendship, something more than what I’ve had.

I know I’ve had good things. I want more God. I want to know the greatness of yoru power. I want to have understanding and wisdom. If I am just to know one area, then choose the area and draw me into that however you will, God. Jesus has come to give me an abundant life. I want that abundant life. I don’t want to struggle anymore.

Up until right now, when I am talking, my life has been such a struggle. I’ve struggled for health, wealth, to understand you. I ask you Father, I come humbly before you and I ask you to give me breakthrough and knowing how to heal other people and understand frequencies and understanding you’re greatness and understanding and having your favor.

You are constantly giving me dreams. I ask that you give the understanding of those dreams. I ask that you open the eyes of my heart, open the eyes of my understanding regarding dreams, favor, your greatness, regarding all these things that you have given to me. Open up my understanding Father, please, in the name of Jesus.

That I may walk in your ways, that I may do what you called me to do, that I will understand what you’ve called me to do and go forth boldly, with understanding, wisdom and knowledge. Father, my life is not just for me, it is also for others to teach and impart and help. 

But Father, if I’m not whole, wholly in you, then I can’t give out. I ask you for understanding of who I am in you, how I am and I ask that you give me power and the ability to go forth Father, in Jesus name

___________________________

5-31-17 John 20.23 “If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive their sins, they are not forgiven”. Meaning we can ask forgiveness for their sins and their sins are forgiven of them. I think it has to do with the sins committed against us, personally.