How She Thinks

Alert-Why I Haven’t Been Posting

I haven’t been updating this blog recently because I’ve been working on my non profit, Doors To Joy, Inc.

The Cork Road story is being published over there.  I haven’t yet figured out what I’ll post here and what I’ll post there in the way of revelations and such. The purpose of my life is to be transparent. Gads, the older I get the harder it is to graciously agree with God to do it.  Funny, all these years of wondering the purpose of my life in one sentence, and there it is. wow. NOW, this minute 10.52a.m. 1-17-20, I UNDERSTAND what Dad meant when he said *I* am the gift as much as the gifts he gives me to share.

I have SO MANY teachings the Lord has given me in the last year. December 2019 was a prolific month. It had me swirling in confusion, anger and betrayal.

I have subscribers here! Would you please consider subscribing to Doors To Joy blog as well? It would boost my confidence. 🙂

God’s on Purpose Princess

Are you sad? Are you depressed? Do you feel like no one loves you or understands you? Do you wish you had at least one good friend? 

Were you molested, abused, ridiculed or tormented? Did one of your parents walk away and leave you, whether for a week or forever? 

Are you secretly sad? Is your skin a color you wish it weren’t?  Do you wish you were smarter, prettier, taller, shorter? Do you want to be loved, accepted, approved and liked?

God wants you to know something.

You are his Princess. He made you on purpose. There is nothing wrong with you. 

God is not in control of everyone. There are people in this world that do not acknowledge him as Lord. They are their own god, they do what they want, when they want to do it. You have probably experienced this at some point in your life.

However, God knows your hurt, He sees and He feels your pain. He knows, because he’s felt just the same.  There is a beautiful song, written by Dallas Holm that goes like this:

Jesus knows your hurt

“The pain some people bear no one would believe;
The hurt that’s sometimes there makes it hard to see
That in the darkest hour there is still a way;
Listen to these simple words I say;

Jesus knows your hurt, Jesus feels your pain;
Jesus knows just how you feel, ’cause He’s felts just the same;
Jesus knows your need better than you do;
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!

Sometimes you feel alone, does He really car?
Has He left you all alone, and does He hear your prayer?
Well, He has never left you or forsaken you one day;
Listen to these simple words I say;

Jesus knows your hurt, Jesus feels your pain;
Jesus knows just how you feel, ’cause He’s felts just the same;
Jesus knows your need better than you do;
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!
Just hold on to Jesus, He’s holding on to you!

Jesus knows your heart, better than you do. And God wants you to know, you are his Princess.

God made you unique. He gave life to you, because He wants you on this earth, fulfilling your life’s destiny. He wants you to have joy and peace and prosperity. He wants us to praise him and glorify him in all we do. He wants us as his family. That’s why He made us!

God loves you

Above all, God wants you to know he loves you. He wants you to know he made you the way you are. He also wants you to know that he, who is the King of Kings, made you and gave you gifts! He made you special. 

Sure, there are rough edges on you, just like there are on everyone else in this world. However if you give your heart and life to Jesus, he will make sure you get healed of all the pain you’ve endured. Holy Spirit will smooth the rough edges and heal your heart.

I would guess 99% of people come from dysfunctional families. Women all over the world have been cussed, cursed, used, abused, attacked, screamed at and generally mistreated at the hands of someone in their life.

BUT – God wants you to know who you are. You dear girl, are God’s Princess, his creation, his adored daughter. You are his gift to the world.  

He loves you. He’s aware of you. He accepts you just as you are.

You didn’t just happen. You aren’t a mistake. He didn’t mess up when you were created. You weren’t behind a door when beauty and wisdom and patience were handed out. You didn’t come from under a rock and you were not the-last-banana-on-the-boat.

You were created ON PURPOSE – BY GOD

Our Father made you the way you are. You are awesomely and wonderfully made. Gifted, talented and skilled. If you think otherwise, then you are listening to someone else. You my friend, are God’s ‘On Purpose Princess’.  To God, you are #1. He loves us all the same, which makes all of us, #1. God does not have favorites. He sees each of us as special. So beautiful, so sweet.

Yessss, some of us don’t feel so sweet or beautiful. We know what we’ve said, we know what we’ve done. We know what’s in our hearts. Well, God does too. And that is the reason He sent Jesus, his Son, to die for us, each of us, on the cross. Jesus took away all our sins and sicknesses.  All you have to do is believe it. Why is that all you have to do??? Because the work of having someone die for you, has already been done.

Once you believe Jesus died for you on the cross, you ask him to forgive you of all the sins you have committed. Then ask Him to live in your heart. Take your self off the throne and allow Jesus the Christ to be the Lord of your life.

Once you do this, you will have salvation. That means when your body dies, your spirit will live always with God. Our spirits will always live somewhere, either in hell with the devil or in heaven with God.

If you choose not to do this, God still loves you. The fact that He created you and accepts you is still valid. However it also means you will not go to heaven when your body dies. Only if you believe Jesus died on the cross, shedding his blood, to wipe away the sins of the world, of you, personally, will that get you eternal life in heaven. 

He wants you healed. He wants you whole. He wants to give you the plans He has for you. Plans to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope. [found in the Bible, Jeremiah, chapter 29 verse 11 usually written: Jer 29:11 ]

To do this, you need to belong to Him. You need to give your life to Him.

There is no time like the present to ask for forgiveness and accept Jesus as your Savior.

Your crown

And always, always remember, no matter what the devil on your shoulder tells you, no matter what other people may say to you, you shine up that crown, put it on your head and always tell yourself this:

I am GOD’S Princess on purpose.  He makes no junk, he loves me as I am. I am the head and not the tail. I have a purpose and I am loved. 

Parallel Universes

The Lord and I are having ‘sessions’ these days. This is where he and one of my no-longer-wounded-usually parts, talk and he teaches her. Most of the time they don’t know Jesus. It’s been a wild ride Mr. Toad. In these, Jesus is my Daddy. He’s not ‘God’, he’s my Daddy. He is giving me a story, called The Cork Road and he’s giving me lessons in and outside the story. Since no one taught me anything growing up, he is teaching all of us now. One age at a time. 

Yesterday morning, 7/11/18, he was telling…let me back up a bit. I am now at 8 yrs old. We’ve been thru the other ages. Eight has proven to be extremely traumatic. I have also been at this age longer than the other ages. Eight is when everything culminated. Abandonment, neglect, all those things. I won’t bore you.

In these times with Daddy, I ask questions. There is a backstory to all this, of course, but I’m not going there now. Yesterday I was asking what worship is and if it’s better to pray out loud or in my head? 

He said, “You can pray in your head. Anytime. But if you’re talking to the devil, since you have a voice, you need to use it out loud. The only way you can speak to him, is out loud. If you have a voice. If you don’t have a voice, if you are deaf, then you sign it.

Claiming my promises? Out loud. If you have a voice, it is best to do it out loud for the promises and binding and such. If you are praying in tongues? You can do that in your head or out loud, you can pray in your head or out loud.”

“THANK YOU JESUS!”

“My pleasure my girl.”

The next bit was on worship. It’s long and I won’t put it here. It’s really interesting though. He had me look up definitions and tell him what they said and what I thought they meant. So at the end of it, I asked, ‘so Daddy, what is worship?’

“What do you think it is baby girl?”

“Well Daddy, from what I read, I think worship is studying your word like we just said. And I think it’s loving on you. Telling you how wonderful you are and great you are and all that. And also being obedient. And being aware of you. That’s really hard, to be aware of you all the time. Do you know that?”

“Yes baby, I do.”

“I think worship is being mindful of you in my life and acting on that instead of..whoa! Wait a minute God! If that’s the case, then if I say something from your word, or positive, but really, from your word – when something bad happens? Then that means I’m worshiping you, right?”

“Yes baby. You have a very good mind Janine. You are a very intelligent young lady.”

[he calls me Janine when he’s talking to ALL of us] {{I get this might be weird for you, but just flow with it}}.

He called me a young lady! I’m smiling all over the place and I sat up straight.

So that was yesterday morning. Last nite/wee hours of this morning, I have a huge recollection of something. I realize that what I thought before, was me thinking thru my feelings. This remembrance gave me clarity thru my mind, not my feelings. There is a difference. With feelings, you only think it was that way, or you feel it was that way, when it may not have been. It’s kinda like perception – thru feelings. I’m pretty sure you, the reader ‘gets it’.

But this memory recollection, took me down the path of remembering a WHOLE LOT more and realizing, my memories from my feelings WERE accurate and I saw just how accurate they were.

I was sobbing. Absolutely sobbing. I was floored that not only were my feelings accurate, there was so much more and it was all accurate. I KNEW I needed to respond well from the lesson that morning.

Because I was in the middle of all these feelings, there are only so many scriptures that will come up in my memory. I was also eight years old during some of this, as well as the current age.

I gave the only scriptures I knew. I am the apple of his eye. He loves me with an unfailing love. I am the apple of his eye.

I KNEW from what he told me earlier that I needed to speak positive things from his word. Not just ‘positive things’, but from his word. And I knew I had to forgive. I did. I forgave everything of this person [my mother] that I could think of.

Today I see a deeper truth. It’s like we are all in parallel universes. If we response from our flesh, our anger, that is the devil side. If we respond with the word of God, that is the God side. IF we respond to ANYTHING in our flesh, we will walk in that universe and reap the results. If we respond from the God side, we will walk in that universe and things will be different.

I was on the precipice last nite. However as an 8 yr old, I’m more inclined to do things how Daddy says, because I’m not all tainted with the flesh yet. I spoke the word in both ages. I forgave and today…toDAY, I am slightly in shock. But if I had responded thru the flesh, I would be numb.

We all walk in parallel universes. We can choose which outcome we want in our lives. 

Demons On The Doorstep

While in prayer today, 4-5-18, the Lord said when we judge someone else, the demons of that person are allowed to stay on our doorstep. They are allowed to attach to us, because we are agreeing with evil.

We are not to judge another. We are to forgive everyone. Even if they do something really bad or mean against us, we are to forgive them. To judge another person is to throw God off His throne and tell Him we can do it.

That’s like saying, I can fly this jet and take over the controls, even though we’ve never had pilot lessons. So you’re up in the air and then what?

As a human, it is our right to judge. But as a child of God, it is not our right to judge. We are to give our rights, all of them, to God. Let Him do what He needs to do, what He wants to do. Yes! It’s hard! NO! It’s not impossible!

We cannot leave bad reviews on a website about person or business, unless we have been released by God to do so. When we do that, we are then putting that person in prison, through judgement. Other people, Christian or not, read the bad reviews, then they will judge that person or business, from that review. Then it continues to exacerbate the problem and it becomes a huge problem to unravel. 

This is exactly how Satan runs this world. He gets at the underlying problems. Once there is this huge ball of judgement, it affects everyone involved. Demons are allowed on our doorstep, they are allowed to be in our homes and attach to us because we have judged another.

I repented for a lot of stuff. I took reviews off Yelp. I do not want to be agreeing with the devil in anything. I release it all to God, HE can take care of it.  

Do You Think It’s Gone?

Do you think it’s gone? Do you think because you are this age, that your childhood is gone and you can’t get it back? Do you say to yourself or God, “I can’t re-do it! I can’t get it back. what do I do”? Do you think you are lost or too far gone in any way? PLEASE stop thinking that way. Try to stop thinking that way. Try for yourself. If you follow Jesus , there is nothing further from the truth.

I know this because for the past 3-4 months, Jesus/God has been teaching my little ones. I better explain that. We are all made up of the ages we grew up through. And, if something bad happened to you at a certain age, that will create what is called a “wounded part”.  This wounded part has it’s own personality, it’s own anger, it’s own fear, it’s own attitude. Usually these wounded parts are trying to help the core person in some way, in ways they think are appropriate. But rarely is it appropriate. 

Some people call them alternate personalities, but that’s a scary term to my little ones. Besides they weren’t ‘alternate personalities’ because they never shut down reality for my core person and acted on their own. So, they are wounded parts. They are wounded little ones. [Others call them fragments, but mine are all people and they are real, they are not a fragment. That’s me, you can call them whatever your heart wants too]. I had a lot of wounded parts. I went through inner healing and deliverance for 9 or 10 yrs. I’ll probably write a book on it one day. 😉 

Some of my back story sucks. Let me say this and I think you’ll understand. My parents had one child, my sister. My mother wanted another child. It was me. But all she wanted was another child. She didn’t want to raise it. So she didn’t. My dad taught me some stuff, different times when she would send me away to live with him or my grandmother. Needless to say – I didn’t learn the things kids with one or two caring adults in their lives learn. I didn’t really ‘raise myself’, cause I didn’t know anything. This has made my life exceedingly difficult to get through. I managed in some areas, others have been sorely lacking. 

I read Ana Werner’s book, “The Seer’s Path. In it she has us do an exercise to start seeing in the spirit. I’m already a seer, so that wasn’t hard. However, when I started this, I met with Jesus and He told me ‘this is going to take a while, are you willing to sit with me and do this’? I said yes. LITTLE knowing what it would entail.

So what is Jesus doing?

He’s taking me through each age and healing and teaching. DON”T THINK something can’t be undone!! IT CAN BE. Thru Jesus. I am now at 7 years old. I just transferred to 7 from 6 last week, March, 23, 2018 to be exact. That’s also when I learned, as a 6-7 yr old, that God is real, He’s not a figment of my imagination. I do hear Him and He really, really loves me. I know He loves me because He’s listening to me. He’s answering my questions, He never once has told me to shut up, or stop talking or stop asking questions. That’s love. 

Always happy girl

He has taught me so many things already. Some of them He’s taught by words and some by, the only way to say it, is osmosis. He’s teaching me things underneath the words and lessons. I know this, because I am acting and speaking differently than before. As an adult.

I want to encourage you to never think your past is done and can’t be undone. It CAN be undone with and through Jesus. There are stories Jesus wants to write with others. You may be one. Those who have had a bad childhood, no matter whose fault it was, no matter the reasons why. It could have been just a short space of time or a long space of time. Since 99% of people come from a dysfunctional home, I would guess you had something rough in your life. Jesus wants to sit with you and He wants you to come to Him and take the time to listen and write your story. It will take time. He wants to be with me every day, to tell the story. This is besides prayer time. When I am in this stage, I actually regress to that age and sound like a kid. 

I will start posting installments of the story. Now mind you. I have this blog because God told me to put my personal journal online, that it will help others. So when I post the installments, some of them are just lessons, a part of the story. Yep, I’m gonna let you in on all the ‘stuff’. I will put it under the category of The Cork Road. Because that’s what Jesus calls the story, The Cork Road.

I promise you, if you take the time to sit and be still with the Lord, to envision yourself with Jesus at a table [what does the table look like? what do you see around you?], to talk with Him, to spend time with Him and I’m talking time, not 5 or 10 minutes, but 30 or more; He will give you a story. He will heal your little ones. It just takes one step and it has to start with you. 

Shofar About To Be Blown

Update: 10p.m. 3-7-18. I was reading a post by Keith Ferrante and something he said about California awakening reminded me of this word and God told me to blow the shofar/it will be blown on May 17, 2018.

This is a word the Lord gave me to me last November 17.2017 at 5p. Today, 1-14-18 He told me to put it on here.

The shofar is about to be blown. A wake up call to God’s people. A wake up call, His time is coming and His gifts. This final dispensation of a great move of God is here. Shofars will be blown all over the world. In cities, in homes, over people and over things. To start a new project.

The  time of the shofar to be blown is coming. To wake up My children from their slumber of doing things like they always have.