How She Thinks

The Cork Road

PRE-foreword.

This is a story given to me by Jesus. He has been urging me to consider sharing it all of this year, 2018. It’s been a struggle to do so. I don’t *have* too. However Daddy asks me to help others. It’s my calling. To heal in various ways. I have been set apart to do uncommon things. Today is November 4, 2018. At 4 p.m. I started this post. The number 4 in the Bible is letting in light, being creative. So here I go. And yes, it’s scary. But I’d rather do what Daddy wants, than to live in fear. 

This story has lessons directly to me, that teach me things that are a part of the story or that the story has brought up. Those will be either included or in a separate post, I’m not sure yet. The story goes to the middle of age 8 so far. 

I apologize beforehand if something is wrong. Like not spelling out a number under 10, or some thought is jumbled. I’m doing my best and it will have to be good enough. It comes to over 50k words with everything in it. So far.

I tend to capitalize for emphasis and at this time, I haven’t been able to break myself of it, so it is what it is. 

Foreword:

Each person, each human being is made up of all the parts of our lives. We are born babies and we grow. Every day, a child has things happen to them. Good and bad. If we do not have parents or caregivers, that are adults themselves – then we learn things that are not right. We learn things like anger. And sarcasm. We learn how to be a human being by those that are around us or over us. There is a significant portion of the world’s population, especially those in the USA, that did not have great role models. While no one is perfect, the parent we may have had, might have had issues they never dealt with, or perhaps they just weren’t around or didn’t care to operate as a parent. 

Each human being is made up of all the parts, all the ages through which we have lived. So there are those of us, that had really bad things happen to us when we were little. It is one of the goals of Jesus to heal spiritually, emotionally, and physically, all of the ages that make up a person. Jesus wants us every BIT whole. 

Jesus wants each one of us to sit with him so he can give us a story. He will heal each one of our parts. If they are wounded he will heal. Sometimes we need to go through people that are inner healing and deliverance counselors. Which I have done extensively with a glorious outcome. [of course]

The Holy Spirit heals our wounded parts, and then he gets the demons off of the little one – no longer a wounded part – and gets them out of us. It is a work done through Holy Spirit.

When things happen to us, it creates a wounded part. That wounded part separates itself from the identity of the core person. The wounded part is part of the person. However they have broken off of the person and they remain at the age they became wounded. They have feelings and emotions. Anger is the predominant one. They mostly have the negative emotions, because they were wounded. In order to deal with that drama, they broke off of the person. Some people call them alternative personalities, aka alters. But when I first started going to my Inner Healing and Deliverance couple, they called them wounded parts. I AM SO GLAD they did. If they had called them alters, I would have been out of there in a hurry. That would have meant to me, I was crazy. Demon possessed. There is no truth to that, as I am and was then, a born again Christian, but our minds play tricks on us when they are not renewed and healed. Some call them ‘fragments’. For me, the most accurate and the most revealing, is calling them wounded parts. There is no one that wants to be called a ‘fragment’.

These wounded parts are VERY real. They are a part of us. They don’t want to be called a fragment or an alternative personality. They want to be loved and treated with respect. 

What they do is helping the core personality, [that’s me, or you], in the best way they know how. However, they have extreme tunnel vision. All they know is the trauma and the resulting negative feelings and thoughts that they got from that trauma.

They are from the core person but are not the person. They have feelings and emotions and they act out when they are hurt. When they are not healed, they remain a wounded part. 

When the person becomes an adult, they have all these wounded parts inside them.

I’m going to use myself as an example. When I was small, my grandfather and some of his friends had their way with me. Each time this happened, it created a wounded part. As well, every time it happened a demon had a legal right to attach itself to that wounded part.

So, if I was molested at 3 p.m., then that would be one wounded part. If I was traumatized at 3:15, that would be another wounded part. Each wounded part is like a separate person, where they have feelings, emotions, and they act out. 

Some people have wounded parts, however they have learned to hide them a lot better than other people. A relative is one. I don’t know what happened to her, but she is a super controlling person. Controlling people are trying to control everything around them, because they feel they have no control on the inside of them. It is a wounded part. This person is not a born again Christian as yet. She doesn’t know anything about wounded parts or how much Jesus loves her. Yet. She is so controlling, that she has controlled her emotions and her feelings to such a degree, that it is rare for anyone to see her have emotions. To most people, she seems like a very gracious, polite person. To some people she seems quite loving. It’s all very controlled. 

While I, on the other hand, I was also controlling. Not nearly to the degree that she is, but I was. Why? Because the sins of the fathers and mother’s are passed down to their children and their grandchildren and their great-grandchildren etc.

For much of my life, my wounded parts were visible to everybody else but me. I thought I was just “that way”, and I needed to learn how to cover it up better, I needed to learn how to be different. Others saw the anger and the hurt, I just knew I needed to learn a lot of things, I just didn’t know what. Someone I knew for several years said she prayed about me once, asking God what was wrong with me. The Lord told her I had no filters.

What I have learned in the past, is that I need to run new tapes in my head. What I heard in my head was not good. Not good about me or others. My ‘self talk’ sucked. So I found different people that knew how to think about different things and I have been incorporating those things into my head, for years. Running new tapes.  Example, ‘everything will work out’. That’s my latest one. I repeat it until it’s remembered in my head and at some point, it will be engraved there. I give myself a new tape to run in my head.

My earthly father taught me some, the mother I had taught me none. I had no one to teach me how to perceive myself and the world around me. That’s a big deal. I was essentially given birth and then left to my own devices to learn anything. Anything meaningful about life and how to react and such. Sure I can track an animal, I can fish, clean that fish, shoot a gun and clean that gun, but the finer points on how to be a lady, how to sew, how to sit, how to act…eh. However what we What we don’t know is “wrong” as children, we learn is wrong through body language and words. No matter the age.

My grandmother, with whom I lived sporadically in my young life, taught me some things. But it was all outward things. Like putting your things away not throwing them on the floor. However, my grandmother had the patience of God. It was she that planted the seed of patience in me.

When we are born, we have learned nothing. We are blank canvasses. The sins that our ancestors committed have been passed down to us. Even some of their likes and dislikes are passed down to us.

Jesus is now showing me, it’s not so much about unlearning, as about learning the right things and the right way. That’s because my little ones are healed. 

Even before I knew what the words “prophetic” and “seer” were, I was prophetic and could knew when things were going to happen. It got so that my Dad would ask me if we were going to have a flat tire on our trip, because I always knew when we would. But when he asked me, I had no idea. I didn’t know how I knew, I just knew. 

When young, I thought I had ESP. [extra sensory perception] Which is exactly what is is, but from God it’s a seer and from the world it’s ESP. I found out there was a word for it during my presbytery in 1984, in which one of the ministers said, ‘a seer have you been and a seer will you continue to be….” WOW! There was a NAME for it even! [ a 2 page, single spaced prophetic word to me that no one has ever helped me figure out]

So while reading “The Seer’s Path” by Ana Werner, she said everyone can have visions, we just need to practice. Now I had always thought God had to give me the visions. What in the world was she talking about? She’s talking about how everyone can see certain things. Though not everyone is anointed as a seer, everyone can see. Just like all seers are prophets, but not all prophets are seers. 

I did not know that I could enter into visions with Jesus at anytime!

There is an exercise in the book where Ana tells us to practice going to a table with Jesus. So I did. 

Amazed. I was flat-out amazed. The Lord showed me that he had healing for me and all my little ones. He called them my ‘little ones’. Big deal there, which I didn’t discover til later in one of the lessons. That means they are no longer wounded. Some are still angry, scared even, but they are no longer wounded. They have all accepted Jesus as their Savior at this point in time. Jesus began to teach me. He began to take me on visions. He told me he wanted me to do this every day. 

This was in December of 2017 that this started. I did not do it every single day, and in February I got the flu. By the beginning of March I was doing it every day.

Jesus asked me if I wanted to hear a story. I said yes. Every single day practically of 2018 I have spent at least an hour [more like 2 or 3] with the Lord in a vision or writing this story. This hour is not included in my prayer time.

When the Lord and I are talking, no matter the age, the vocabulary I have now, is used when necessary. Not always though. You will see this as you read, as the younger ones don’t know the meaning of some words used.

When Jesus, as my Father is talking to all the parts, he uses my given name Janine. Otherwise he calls me terms of endearment or my childhood nickname.

He is my Daddy and my Mama. When I praise him, I call him Lord. That encompasses both God and Jesus.

When the little ones do not know him as Daddy, they call him whatever they are comfortable with.

The story is very raw and personal in places. I will do what I can to lessen the rawness, nah, I’ll do what I can to lessen the personalness of it. LOL I don’t have comments open because I don’t want too. Comments are not open anywhere on this blog. If you want a facebook group to ask questions or comment, email me and I’ll start one. jamajo7 at gmail etc.

All of the days are dated or numbered in some way. I will put each day on it’s own post within this category. If I can. We’ll see. WP and I eye each other warily. 

So with a wildly beating heart and my stomach in knots, LET US BEGIN. 

 

 

 

 

 

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