Living WITH Fear, Not Under It.
on 7.26.18 I realized…
Do You Think It’s Gone?
Do you think it’s gone? Do you think because you are this age, that your childhood is gone and you can’t get it back? Do you say to yourself or God, “I can’t re-do it! I can’t get it back. what do I do”? Do you think you are lost or too far gone in any way? PLEASE stop thinking that way. Try to stop thinking that way. Try for yourself. If you follow Jesus , there is nothing further from the truth.
I know this because for the past 3-4 months, Jesus/God has been teaching my little ones. I better explain that. We are all made up of the ages we grew up through. And, if something bad happened to you at a certain age, that will create what is called a “wounded part”. This wounded part has it’s own personality, it’s own anger, it’s own fear, it’s own attitude. Usually these wounded parts are trying to help the core person in some way, in ways they think are appropriate. But rarely is it appropriate.
Some people call them alternate personalities, but that’s a scary term to my little ones. Besides they weren’t ‘alternate personalities’ because they never shut down reality for my core person and acted on their own. So, they are wounded parts. They are wounded little ones. [Others call them fragments, but mine are all people and they are real, they are not a fragment. That’s me, you can call them whatever your heart wants too]. I had a lot of wounded parts. I went through inner healing and deliverance for 9 or 10 yrs. I’ll probably write a book on it one day. 😉
Some of my back story sucks. Let me say this and I think you’ll understand. My parents had one child, my sister. My mother wanted another child. It was me. But all she wanted was another child. She didn’t want to raise it. So she didn’t. My dad taught me some stuff, different times when she would send me away to live with him or my grandmother. Needless to say – I didn’t learn the things kids with one or two caring adults in their lives learn. I didn’t really ‘raise myself’, cause I didn’t know anything. This has made my life exceedingly difficult to get through. I managed in some areas, others have been sorely lacking.
I read Ana Werner’s book, “The Seer’s Path. In it she has us do an exercise to start seeing in the spirit. I’m already a seer, so that wasn’t hard. However, when I started this, I met with Jesus and He told me ‘this is going to take a while, are you willing to sit with me and do this’? I said yes. LITTLE knowing what it would entail.
So what is Jesus doing?
He’s taking me through each age and healing and teaching. DON”T THINK something can’t be undone!! IT CAN BE. Thru Jesus. I am now at 7 years old. I just transferred to 7 from 6 last week, March, 23, 2018 to be exact. That’s also when I learned, as a 6-7 yr old, that God is real, He’s not a figment of my imagination. I do hear Him and He really, really loves me. I know He loves me because He’s listening to me. He’s answering my questions, He never once has told me to shut up, or stop talking or stop asking questions. That’s love.
He has taught me so many things already. Some of them He’s taught by words and some by, the only way to say it, is osmosis. He’s teaching me things underneath the words and lessons. I know this, because I am acting and speaking differently than before. As an adult.
I want to encourage you to never think your past is done and can’t be undone. It CAN be undone with and through Jesus. There are stories Jesus wants to write with others. You may be one. Those who have had a bad childhood, no matter whose fault it was, no matter the reasons why. It could have been just a short space of time or a long space of time. Since 99% of people come from a dysfunctional home, I would guess you had something rough in your life. Jesus wants to sit with you and He wants you to come to Him and take the time to listen and write your story. It will take time. He wants to be with me every day, to tell the story. This is besides prayer time. When I am in this stage, I actually regress to that age and sound like a kid.
I will start posting installments of the story. Now mind you. I have this blog because God told me to put my personal journal online, that it will help others. So when I post the installments, some of them are just lessons, a part of the story. Yep, I’m gonna let you in on all the ‘stuff’. I will put it under the category of The Cork Road. Because that’s what Jesus calls the story, The Cork Road.
I promise you, if you take the time to sit and be still with the Lord, to envision yourself with Jesus at a table [what does the table look like? what do you see around you?], to talk with Him, to spend time with Him and I’m talking time, not 5 or 10 minutes, but 30 or more; He will give you a story. He will heal your little ones. It just takes one step and it has to start with you.
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